six months of nonstop torture. appointments over before they start. doctors cast their judgements without asking me a single question about my symptoms. outright refusal to help or even to let me speak in the first place
Please help me. The medical system is burying me alive. I have not been able to swallow solids for six months for fear of them getting stuck—and when I say stuck, I mean indefinitely, near permanently, amassing for weeks and weeks on end with every bite of food until the lump in my throat was so large it was cutting off my circulation. Because of this I have not eaten solids in six months. I have lost over a quarter of my body weight in that time, and it is still continuing to drop. Despite this, doctors refuse to help or even believe me. They make me wait months and months and months for referrals only for them to immediately tell me they think my symptoms are psychosomatic without ever even asking me what those symptoms are. They scoff at me for expecting the ER to help me.
Someone out there has to do something. Please tell me what I’m supposed to do, who on earth to go to who will actually let me speak and who will DO SOMETHING about it. Everyone throws up their hands and tells me to go to doctors who refuse to offer me the time of day. I am genuinely going to starve to death. My symptoms only get worse and worse. I’ve had what feels like a chronic and almost entirely untreated infection in my throat since January because of this, which has since spread all the way up into my sinuses and even my ears. Everything in my face and throat is so stagnant and putrid that it feels like I’m rotting from the inside out. Literal months of nonstop agony. Of violation, having infected pus congealing in my throat and pouring down into my stomach. At this point even drinking water is active torture. I can’t even brush my teeth; when I do, whatever it loosens up makes my breath even worse. Sometimes it’s rotten. Sometimes stagnant. Sometimes, ammonia. I’ve gone weeks without sleep, unable to lay flat without choking.
I cannot socialize. I cannot work. I cannot eat. I cannot sleep. I cannot think. I cannot do anything but beg and sob for help. Yet that exact hysteria is what gets me written off as delusional. It’s exactly why they refuse to do anything at all. They sat on their hands and waited for this to drive me insane, just so they could use that insanity as an excuse to keep doing nothing. These people are robbing me of a life. All I can do is helplessly watch as I deteriorate more with every day that passes.
Please help me. This is going to kill me and when it does, it will be a mercy. My literal only relief is in completely starving and dehydrating myself for as long as I can stand to. In other words, even relief itself is torture. No one will help. No one will listen. I don’t understand what I’m supposed to do. Every appointment just buries me further into the grave of a mentally troubled, delusional basket case. Somebody please do something. Please help me. Tell me what to do. Where to go. Who to talk to. Something. Anything. Anything that isn’t just sitting back and watching at best, gaslighting at worst. Please.