am I wrong for choosing to keep my baby
I’m a 29F single mum to a 7-year-old child, and I met my ex in February 2025. From the beginning, the relationship was really intense. We spent almost every day together and got very attached very quickly. My son also became attached to him, and for a while it genuinely felt like we were building a future together.
The relationship was always emotionally up and down though. He could be very loving, generous, emotional, and talk about a future with me, but then also become cold, angry, jealous, controlling, or dismissive during arguments. A huge issue throughout the relationship was social media and trust. He would accuse me over things online, get upset about likes/comments, and question my behaviour, while at the same time following lots of women himself and doing things that made me uncomfortable. It often felt like double standards.Another issue was secrecy/private behaviour. Nearly a year into the relationship, I still hadn’t properly met his family or friends. His mum only knew my name. I wasn’t included in his life in the way I expected from a serious relationship, and it made me feel hidden and insecure. I kept bringing this up because I wanted reassurance and stability, especially as someone with a child already.
We broke up and got back together multiple times. Every time we argued, things became very extreme emotionally. He would sometimes sob, apologise, promise change, spend a lot of money on me, or act like he couldn’t live without me. Then during other arguments he could be incredibly hurtful, ignore me for long periods, say cruel things, or act like I meant nothing to him. I became emotionally exhausted and anxious all the time.Something important for context is that during the first year of the relationship, I already went through an abortion with him. It affected me mentally far more than he seems to understand. I struggled emotionally afterward, and I told him multiple times after that experience that I never wanted to go through another abortion again because of how much it impacted me. He knew how traumatic it was for me.
Then I found out I was pregnant again. The pregnancy has honestly been emotionally difficult from the start. Early on I had health scares and hospital visits, and instead of feeling secure, I felt scared and unsupported. At first, he was involved to some extent, saying he loves me, he’ll never leave and we were in this together he’s just finding it abit tough to process but after finding out the baby is a boy, everything seemed to completely spiral.
He basically told me he didn’t want the baby and started talking about abortion again. What hurts is that he already knew how badly the first abortion affected me mentally, and despite that, he still expected me to go through it again as if it was an easy solution. I feel like that’s deeply unfair. This is also someone who willingly had unprotected sex with me, talked about a future with me, treated my son like family, and made me believe we were building something serious.Now he’s acting like he wants nothing to do with me or the baby. Some days he says we’ll “never be okay.” He’s become cold and distant, and I feel abandoned during pregnancy. I’m struggling emotionally because I genuinely loved him, trusted him, and imagined us becoming a family. My son also became attached to him, which makes this even more painful.
At the same time, I’m trying to be honest with myself about the relationship. Looking back, there were a lot of red flags I Ignored but the worst part I feel guilty not having the abortion but I’m already in my second trimester
Part of me still misses him and hopes he’ll “come to his senses,” but another part of me feels deeply hurt and resentful that he could walk away from me while I’m pregnant with his child, especially knowing what I already went through emotionally before.