u/Everniah

Hello! I've had my dog since October, we rescued him from a shelter. He has always had a bit of anxiety as he likes routine. If we move around or sit in different places he pants sometimes.

We were working on crate training and he was doing ok, we made it to be able to leave for an hour or two and he only did some panting and barking a bit when we left but setted after 5 minutes.

Unfortunately, two weeks ago my 9 year old pug passed. Since then my dog has been really terrible about us leaving, and is starting to drench himself in saliva from licking himself and panting.

In his crate, he scratches, and pushes to try to escape. He has an anxiety style crate.

Even if one of the two of us leaves, and he is not crated, he paces, cries, and pants.

We thought to maybe try to leave him out of the crate but he jumped up on my desk to escape or look out a window and broke my computer monitor. He also dug huge gashes in my door and walls.

I do have him on pet insurance, from what I am seeing medication may be the best option...? But before going full prescription I wanted to see if anyone has any other methods they have tried or any tips. Unfortunately at the moment I do not have a ton of extra money due to my partner losing thier job.

Few random facts, we do no energy coming/going, feed in crate. He was able to smell my other dog after she passed. He goes to daycare every other week. He is not a very high energy dog. Even at daycare they say he plays in spurts and then sleeps. I have not noticed a difference at all related to walks before/after crating. Interestingly, if we take him in the car and leave him to get groceries, he does not bark or lick himself, a bit of whining and a little light panting but that is it.

Just about a week and a half ago I noticed a bump on my girl's face. Truthfully, I didn't even call her a senior yet as she is about 9 (rescued so I guess we aren't positive). pug so expected to live up to 15/16.

A whirlwind of time has passed as we found out that it may be cancer, so far multiple vets (one an oncologist) have looked and agree. The oncologist is pretty convinced its melanoma with the speed of growth and the issue of it starting to ooze. They also said it will eventually likely close her airways which is horrifying.

In the best case scenario, if we got her diagnosed properly and then surgically remove the tumor she has 6 to 12 months. To me thats really difficult, it's so little time, is it worth her having to go through all of that for so little? It also was quoted to be like~10-15k. While money isnt my major factor, I don't want to keep her alive for my sake.

Currently she is so happy, in fact we got her some antibiotics and she is the best she has been. She is trotting everywhere, super alert.
But like I know what the right answer is here... I just know it. How did you know the time? What did you do to lead up to it? what kind of things do I do to make her happy?

I definitely plan to use an at home service. Is it important to not be sad when its happening? I dont want to stress her out about it but Im not sure ill be able to stay composed. She has been with me through so much and I want her to have the best quality of life.

Just sharing any stories would be kind.