u/EverythingArchive

Hey, everybody. I had to sleep it off, but I feel better, now. Assuming anyone’s listening, I’ll continue my story about the Zirkus. I remember hearing I had to make sure people could access the previous part from new parts, so here it is [(Part 1)](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/s/XQ1z93Vg3o).

To settle something, I’d like to say that- despite the many, and I do mean many, weird encounters around this circus in my all too long tenure there, I think the worst part was that none of the Performers ever truly acknowledged the incidents after they happened. They’d treat me as if nothing changed. Treat everyone as if nothing had happened. And it does seem like they’re still holding to this idea, since they’ve come back to town after the incident that I was allowed to quit over.

To continue sharing my traumatic experiences, the second incident I remember had to do with Heinrich. Even if I hadn’t worked there and thus known him more personally, he would’ve struck me as strange. He was a scrawny old man with long, thick limbs like trees, and while he had rather long, well kept black hair and a matching beard, he must have applied some form of spray or something, because no matter how his head moved, the beard would stay in the exact same position, stiff as a board. While all three of the Performers had been tall, Heinrich was the tallest. If I had to guess, he was well over 7 feet. I would watch him turn in for the night to his trailer, and he would quite literally duck down and fold himself through the door like a marionette. And that’s another thing, he didn’t move like a person. He moved like he was a marionette being puppeteered by an invisible hand, staggering around like a zombie and standing with his feet at odd angles.

Despite his unnatural gait and quite disquieting appearance, he was by far the nicest and most human of the three in his demeanor. He was polite, and rarely spoke except to announce things to the audience or the other Performers. He spoke in quiet, curt sentences to me with a thick Eastern European accent, and usually spoke with similar or near identical phrases, depending on the situation. “Here is Money, Mr. Brant.” Was what he’d say every time he came to deliver my pay. And Yknow, as kinda funny as it is to say, he paid me far better than any other job. I’d get paid at the end of every 3 days the circus was in a town, once all the money to be made had been. He would pay me 1,000 dollars exactly, each time.

Back to the point (sorry I’ve always been a rambler), this particular incident with him took place in Summer. We were in a coastal town somewhere in the colony states, I don’t remember where, and business was good. We had a lot more customers than usual, and I remember thinking that would mean I’d get paid extra for my “dutiful” work as a ticket clerk.

It was late afternoon, maybe 4 PM, on the second day. Now- usually around this exact time, and always on the second day, Heinrich and the other Performers would hold a special act that involved all of them participating. I was never there to see it myself, I had to sit and watch the entrance, obviously, but I would always wonder what went on in there. The sheer amount of cheering from inside would give anyone a bad case of FOMO.

Whenever the show would run, business tended to slow down, so I found myself reading a magazine to pass the time. The disadvantage of that was that, as the typically aloof bastard I was, I would get immersed in it, and hardly pay attention to my surroundings until I was called for. So you understand when I nearly jumped out of my skin when I looked up for a moment, and saw Heinrich leaned through the ticket booth, his nose nearly pressed to mine.

He pulled back with a wooden laugh after that, and had said something along the lines of “Is just prank, Mr. Brant.” Sure, whatever. Weird, but not criminal. He handed me my money early, and spat out his recorded words. “Here is Money, Mr. Brant.” I took it, though before he could walk away without another word, I caught him by the wrist.

“Why are you giving me my money a day early?” I asked him.

He pulled his wrist away, and I couldn’t help but shudder as it left my grip. It felt like a slug slipping through my fingers, if said slug had gotten tree bark stuck to its back. He turned to face me once again, tilting his head up slightly, almost haughty. His beard knocked against my own chin, and I grunted.

“Is not full pay. Is just extra for good work and diligence.”

I looked down to the money. $400. Definitely not the usual pay, so I had no reason to believe he was lying.

“Okay,” I mumbled after a moment. “Thanks.”

I think he smiled, but his mustache and beard were so stiff, so matted to his face, I couldn’t have been sure. His eyes just squinted up at the bottom, and his dark brows rose.

“Of course, Mr. Brant.” He chuckled dryly. He turned to leave once again, but directed his gaze to me before he walked off. His neck audibly popped like an achey joint on an action figure.

“Feel free to clock out early. Show will be extra long tonight, with so many in attendance. You understand.”

He had said it like it was a choice, but somehow I knew it wasn’t. He wanted me in my trailer, for some reason, off the proper circus grounds.

“…Okay,” was all I could manage to say before he walked off with that same signature stumble. I closed up the ticket booth and returned to my trailer, cooking an early dinner, and treating myself to an old movie.

At some point, I must have fallen asleep. Because when I next knew what time it was, it was midnight. The first thing I had processed after the time was that the Big Top was still lit up, shining through my window. The trailer walls did nothing to muffle the mirthful laughter, and roaring of an unknown waltz coming from inside.

Heinrich had said the show would be extra long tonight, I reasoned. But why would there still be so many people there this late at night? Certainly parents would bring their children home, right? But, no. I could hear children’s laughter in the cacophonous noise of the Big Top.

And then, much to my paranoia and nyctophobia’s dismay, I realized something. I could finally see what all the fuss was about. And something, maybe curiosity, hell, maybe even spite, urged me to take the opportunity.

I pulled on my boots and exited my trailer, not caring to be quiet. The Big Top was so loud it would mute any sound for miles. I slowly approached the enormous tent, my boots digging into the surprisingly wet dirt with murky squelches. It must have rained while I had been sleeping.

I approached the Big Top, and gently pulled away the doorway flap, entering inside. The space within was enormous. Large wooden bleachers curved with the tent, filled with every person I could remember giving tickets and then some. There was something.. off about them, but I wasn’t sure what.

The Performers were stood in the middle of the dirt floor, The Contortionist and Vivienne stood lifeless behind Heinrich himself. He was completely still, save for the uncomfortably fluid, rapid movement of his arms and hands as he expertly juggled large, colorful plastic balls. I couldn’t count the exact number. I guessed 6, but there may have been more. He stared directly at the audience, juggling continuously. I stood there for a while, watching this happen, and he didn’t stop once. His arms just kept moving.

I managed to leave without garnering attention, this time, returning to my trailer, and locking the door tight. As big a hazard as it was, I even barricaded the fire door shut. I wasn’t about to be forced to participate in the show. I had planned to just- hold out till morning, stay up until the tent died down at least, but it didn’t. I was struggling to stay awake already, and the fear had caused exhaustion. I drifted off against my will.

I woke up again, and found the sun had risen. No one had come for me, no one was even at my door, but as I looked out my window, I realized the show was *still* going. I checked my alarm clock. 6:00 AM on the dot. What the fuck was going on? I considered calling the cops, but there was even less base for concern here than with The Contortionist. What was I supposed to tell them? “Hello, police? Come to the fairgrounds, there are irresponsible parents and a circus show that doesn’t meet labor guidelines!” Fuck that. Besides, the cops were no help last time, why would they be, now? No. I was done. I was going to leave. For real, this time. Or at least, that was the plan.

I got in my car and began to drive to town, but I must have made a wrong turn, because a few minutes later I found myself at the circus again. I turned and left once more, but same difference. After nearly wearing out my gas, I realized that I was either really bad at driving, or the circus was keeping me here. So I gave up. I got out of my car, and started back to my trailer.

As I passed the Big Top, I could see the audience still inside through the entrance flap, laughing and cheering. Vivienne and The Contortionist still stood behind Heinrich, but his position had changed. He was standing in front of the entrance, still juggling with no life or vitality other than his arms. But now, upon closer inspection, I found he was juggling skulls painted red, yellow, and blue. Had they always been skulls, even when I first saw them..?

He held an intense staring contest with me as he did this, his face uncaring and his eyes held wide. I stared back. But, he won out. My eyes wavered for just a moment, and I blinked a few times to soothe the pain. When I could see again, the skulls had become fully fledged heads. The heads of my family. My parents, my sister, my stepmom and stepsiblings.

He finally broke his perfect juggle when he dropped my stepmom’s head, and it cracked audibly, denting inwards like it was made of straw. Heinrich froze entirely, now, and the rest of the heads fell as well.

“Oops! Mein Mistake,” he said playfully, still holding unblinking eye contact. I couldn’t move as he approached me, the other Performers following in perfect step, with his exact gait. They all stopped a few feet away. I saw my younger stepsister’s head roll by my foot, as Vivienne had apparently kicked it while she was following. The worst part was that her face looked at peace, like she had already been laid to rest before Heinrich had collected it. But- she wasn’t dead. She was still very alive, last I had checked.

Me and The Performers held another few moments of silent eye contact, before I began to tremor.

“Danke,” Heinrich said. I don’t know what he was thanking me for. And I still don’t. I just- ran back to my Trailer and barricaded the doors and window for the rest of the night. When I next left it, everything was back to how it had been the day before. Heinrich nor the other Performers said anything, and I made sure to buy the local newspaper to see if any news came out about all of this, but nothing. No one cared. No one but me.

Call me stupid, but I can’t live with myself if I don’t go see The Circus. I know that place better than anyone in my current hometown, and while I don’t want to go there, I can’t imagine the guilt I’d feel if I hadn’t at least tried to protect my neighbors and friends from anything that may try to harm them. So I’ll be going, after I post this.

If anyone is curious why I’m writing all of this, I only have one thing to say. It’s therapeutic. After I saw the ad, all of the traumatic memories I had tried to hide in the depths of my psyche welled back up like mold on a stew. I had to share it with someone. I couldn’t hold it in, anymore. So I decided to come here. I’m sorry I’m making you listen to a near 50 year old man ramble about his spooky times at a circus, but I appreciate if you took the time to read this. Took the time to hear me out.

I’ll be back later with information on how my visit went.

Hey, everybody. I had to sleep it off, but I feel better, now. Assuming anyone’s listening, I’ll continue my story about the Zirkus. I remember hearing I had to make sure people could access the previous part from new parts, so here it is [(Part 1)](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/s/XQ1z93Vg3o).

To settle something, I’d like to say that- despite the many, and I do mean many, weird encounters around this circus in my all too long tenure there, I think the worst part was that none of the Performers ever truly acknowledged the incidents after they happened. They’d treat me as if nothing changed. Treat everyone as if nothing had happened. And it does seem like they’re still holding to this idea, since they’ve come back to town after the incident that I was allowed to quit over.

To continue sharing my traumatic experiences, the second incident I remember had to do with Heinrich. Even if I hadn’t worked there and thus known him more personally, he would’ve struck me as strange. He was a scrawny old man with long, thick limbs like trees, and while he had rather long, well kept black hair and a matching beard, he must have applied some form of spray or something, because no matter how his head moved, the beard would stay in the exact same position, stiff as a board. While all three of the Performers had been tall, Heinrich was the tallest. If I had to guess, he was well over 7 feet. I would watch him turn in for the night to his trailer, and he would quite literally duck down and fold himself through the door like a marionette. And that’s another thing, he didn’t move like a person. He moved like he was a marionette being puppeteered by an invisible hand, staggering around like a zombie and standing with his feet at odd angles.

Despite his unnatural gait and quite disquieting appearance, he was by far the nicest and most human of the three in his demeanor. He was polite, and rarely spoke except to announce things to the audience or the other Performers. He spoke in quiet, curt sentences to me with a thick Eastern European accent, and usually spoke with similar or near identical phrases, depending on the situation. “Here is Money, Mr. Brant.” Was what he’d say every time he came to deliver my pay. And Yknow, as kinda funny as it is to say, he paid me far better than any other job. I’d get paid at the end of every 3 days the circus was in a town, once all the money to be made had been. He would pay me 1,000 dollars exactly, each time.

Back to the point (sorry I’ve always been a rambler), this particular incident with him took place in Summer. We were in a coastal town somewhere in the colony states, I don’t remember where, and business was good. We had a lot more customers than usual, and I remember thinking that would mean I’d get paid extra for my “dutiful” work as a ticket clerk.

It was late afternoon, maybe 4 PM, on the second day. Now- usually around this exact time, and always on the second day, Heinrich and the other Performers would hold a special act that involved all of them participating. I was never there to see it myself, I had to sit and watch the entrance, obviously, but I would always wonder what went on in there. The sheer amount of cheering from inside would give anyone a bad case of FOMO.

Whenever the show would run, business tended to slow down, so I found myself reading a magazine to pass the time. The disadvantage of that was that, as the typically aloof bastard I was, I would get immersed in it, and hardly pay attention to my surroundings until I was called for. So you understand when I nearly jumped out of my skin when I looked up for a moment, and saw Heinrich leaned through the ticket booth, his nose nearly pressed to mine.

He pulled back with a wooden laugh after that, and had said something along the lines of “Is just prank, Mr. Brant.” Sure, whatever. Weird, but not criminal. He handed me my money early, and spat out his recorded words. “Here is Money, Mr. Brant.” I took it, though before he could walk away without another word, I caught him by the wrist.

“Why are you giving me my money a day early?” I asked him.

He pulled his wrist away, and I couldn’t help but shudder as it left my grip. It felt like a slug slipping through my fingers, if said slug had gotten tree bark stuck to its back. He turned to face me once again, tilting his head up slightly, almost haughty. His beard knocked against my own chin, and I grunted.

“Is not full pay. Is just extra for good work and diligence.”

I looked down to the money. $400. Definitely not the usual pay, so I had no reason to believe he was lying.

“Okay,” I mumbled after a moment. “Thanks.”

I think he smiled, but his mustache and beard were so stiff, so matted to his face, I couldn’t have been sure. His eyes just squinted up at the bottom, and his dark brows rose.

“Of course, Mr. Brant.” He chuckled dryly. He turned to leave once again, but directed his gaze to me before he walked off. His neck audibly popped like an achey joint on an action figure.

“Feel free to clock out early. Show will be extra long tonight, with so many in attendance. You understand.”

He had said it like it was a choice, but somehow I knew it wasn’t. He wanted me in my trailer, for some reason, off the proper circus grounds.

“…Okay,” was all I could manage to say before he walked off with that same signature stumble. I closed up the ticket booth and returned to my trailer, cooking an early dinner, and treating myself to an old movie.

At some point, I must have fallen asleep. Because when I next knew what time it was, it was midnight. The first thing I had processed after the time was that the Big Top was still lit up, shining through my window. The trailer walls did nothing to muffle the mirthful laughter, and roaring of an unknown waltz coming from inside.

Heinrich had said the show would be extra long tonight, I reasoned. But why would there still be so many people there this late at night? Certainly parents would bring their children home, right? But, no. I could hear children’s laughter in the cacophonous noise of the Big Top.

And then, much to my paranoia and nyctophobia’s dismay, I realized something. I could finally see what all the fuss was about. And something, maybe curiosity, hell, maybe even spite, urged me to take the opportunity.

I pulled on my boots and exited my trailer, not caring to be quiet. The Big Top was so loud it would mute any sound for miles. I slowly approached the enormous tent, my boots digging into the surprisingly wet dirt with murky squelches. It must have rained while I had been sleeping.

I approached the Big Top, and gently pulled away the doorway flap, entering inside. The space within was enormous. Large wooden bleachers curved with the tent, filled with every person I could remember giving tickets and then some. There was something.. off about them, but I wasn’t sure what.

The Performers were stood in the middle of the dirt floor, The Contortionist and Vivienne stood lifeless behind Heinrich himself. He was completely still, save for the uncomfortably fluid, rapid movement of his arms and hands as he expertly juggled large, colorful plastic balls. I couldn’t count the exact number. I guessed 6, but there may have been more. He stared directly at the audience, juggling continuously. I stood there for a while, watching this happen, and he didn’t stop once. His arms just kept moving.

I managed to leave without garnering attention, this time, returning to my trailer, and locking the door tight. As big a hazard as it was, I even barricaded the fire door shut. I wasn’t about to be forced to participate in the show. I had planned to just- hold out till morning, stay up until the tent died down at least, but it didn’t. I was struggling to stay awake already, and the fear had caused exhaustion. I drifted off against my will.

I woke up again, and found the sun had risen. No one had come for me, no one was even at my door, but as I looked out my window, I realized the show was *still* going. I checked my alarm clock. 6:00 AM on the dot. What the fuck was going on? I considered calling the cops, but there was even less base for concern here than with The Contortionist. What was I supposed to tell them? “Hello, police? Come to the fairgrounds, there are irresponsible parents and a circus show that doesn’t meet labor guidelines!” Fuck that. Besides, the cops were no help last time, why would they be, now? No. I was done. I was going to leave. For real, this time. Or at least, that was the plan.

I got in my car and began to drive to town, but I must have made a wrong turn, because a few minutes later I found myself at the circus again. I turned and left once more, but same difference. After nearly wearing out my gas, I realized that I was either really bad at driving, or the circus was keeping me here. So I gave up. I got out of my car, and started back to my trailer.

As I passed the Big Top, I could see the audience still inside through the entrance flap, laughing and cheering. Vivienne and The Contortionist still stood behind Heinrich, but his position had changed. He was standing in front of the entrance, still juggling with no life or vitality other than his arms. But now, upon closer inspection, I found he was juggling skulls painted red, yellow, and blue. Had they always been skulls, even when I first saw them..?

He held an intense staring contest with me as he did this, his face uncaring and his eyes held wide. I stared back. But, he won out. My eyes wavered for just a moment, and I blinked a few times to soothe the pain. When I could see again, the skulls had become fully fledged heads. The heads of my family. My parents, my sister, my stepmom and stepsiblings.

He finally broke his perfect juggle when he dropped my stepmom’s head, and it cracked audibly, denting inwards like it was made of straw. Heinrich froze entirely, now, and the rest of the heads fell as well.

“Oops! Mein Mistake,” he said playfully, still holding unblinking eye contact. I couldn’t move as he approached me, the other Performers following in perfect step, with his exact gait. They all stopped a few feet away. I saw my younger stepsister’s head roll by my foot, as Vivienne had apparently kicked it while she was following. The worst part was that her face looked at peace, like she had already been laid to rest before Heinrich had collected it. But- she wasn’t dead. She was still very alive, last I had checked.

Me and The Performers held another few moments of silent eye contact, before I began to tremor.

“Danke,” Heinrich said. I don’t know what he was thanking me for. And I still don’t. I just- ran back to my Trailer and barricaded the doors and window for the rest of the night. When I next left it, everything was back to how it had been the day before. Heinrich nor the other Performers said anything, and I made sure to buy the local newspaper to see if any news came out about all of this, but nothing. No one cared. No one but me.

Call me stupid, but I can’t live with myself if I don’t go see The Circus. I know that place better than anyone in my current hometown, and while I don’t want to go there, I can’t imagine the guilt I’d feel if I hadn’t at least tried to protect my neighbors and friends from anything that may try to harm them. So I’ll be going, after I post this.

If anyone is curious why I’m writing all of this, I only have one thing to say. It’s therapeutic. After I saw the ad, all of the traumatic memories I had tried to hide in the depths of my psyche welled back up like mold on a stew. I had to share it with someone. I couldn’t hold it in, anymore. So I decided to come here. I’m sorry I’m making you listen to a near 50 year old man ramble about his spooky times at a circus, but I appreciate if you took the time to read this. Took the time to hear me out.

I’ll be back later with information on how my visit went.

As it says in the title, I worked for a Traveling Circus maybe- 10, 15 years ago? I gotta admit I’ve tried my best to forget all of it, just move on with my life, but- I can’t. Not after I saw one of their ads in my mail.

“THE ZIRKUS DER PUPPEN IS COMING TO TOWN! August 14-17! Bring the whole family! Kids get in for FREE!” As of writing this, it’s the day before they arrive. After what had happened, what made me quit, I didn’t think I’d ever see them again. But here they are.

For context, I wasn’t a performer. I wasn’t even near the Big Top most of the time. I just worked the tickets. The owner of the Circus was a guy named Heinrich Spielmacher. He was- German, Austrian? Somewhere in Central Europe. I never bothered to ask. The “Zirkus”, as he called it, had three big acts. The Contortionist, a woman whose name I’ve long scrubbed from my memory, Heinrich himself, who preferred to work as a Clown act, and Vivienne, the woman he hired as Ringmaster, but she also took the role of Firebreather, Juggler, Acrobat, and a few other acts. I think I had heard mention of there being a twin acrobat act at one point, but I was never given reason as to why they didn’t seem to exist anymore.

Whatever the case, they weren’t- normal people. Not one of them. I had my strange encounters with each of them, too many to count. They never seemed to talk to me as if I were one of them, one of the staff. They only talked to me one-on-one. Usually Heinrich.
Actually, now that I think about it, other than them, I think I was the only staff there. I don’t remember seeing anyone else other than those 3, myself, and the small clusters of families that would show up for the 3 days we’d sit in each town.

The first strange thing I had encountered, to my memory, was with the Contortionist. I still can’t for the life of me remember her name, but her appearance is engrained in my memory. Or rather, the lack of distinctive appearance is.
She was a tall, Caucasian woman, not to come off creepy, but her muscular limbs and sturdy build, as well as her noticeable Adams’ Apple, made me assume upon first look that she was probably transgender, but I never asked, and no one ever pointed it out. She had brown hair, almost a buzzcut if I hadn’t noticed the perfectly round brown bun tied tightly on the back of her skull, like she was trying desperately to keep that hair in place. She always wore a black leotard, devoid of detail, which revealed blemishless, unmarked skin.
The only really distinct thing about her was her eyes. Heinrich explained to me it was some genetic thing from her parents, and I suppose I had no reason to not believe him. Her eyes were perfect almonds, the eyelids curved and angled just right to resemble that shape. Her pupils took up the entire iris, leaving a black void between two gelatinous globs of white, only accented by the red of incredibly loose, visible tear ducts.
She had almost no true personality, just repeating incredibly stereotypical “feminine” things to like. “I like Pink, pretty flowers.. Ooh, I know I’d love to settle down with a lovely man and start a family!” Were her exact words any time you’d ask her what she liked or wanted.

To get to the actual encounter.. it was maybe.. 6 PM. Early Fall, the leaves were pulling free of the trees like dead skin, fluttering to the ground like dandruff. I was preparing to close the ticket booth for the day, when I heard a small clatter in the Contortionist’s trailer that she lived in while the Circus was actively in session. I wasn’t one to invade privacy, and I wasn’t planning to, but when I started hearing groans of pain right after what sounded like the decibel equivalent of a bookshelf falling into a pile of rubber chickens, I decided maybe I should go look instead of risking having a death on my hands.

I carefully approached the trailer, and rapped my knuckles against the metal 3 times. Tap. Tap. Tap. I remember it so clearly. “Hey, are you alright in there?” I asked. All I got in response was another pained groan. I tried the handle, but it was locked. I knocked three more times. Harder, with my whole fist. “Hey! Answer me! Are you okay? Do I need to call the police??” Still nothing. Just pained groans.

Reasonably, and I still believe this now, I should have just left. But I just- I couldn’t bring myself to leave a situation whenever I thought someone was in pain. I’d always been like this, I just- couldn’t shake the feeling of duty I had to help others in need, I guess. Call me dumb or weird all you want. But I still did what I did.

In every Trailer, for safety purposes, there was a fire exit installed. It wasn’t nearly as airtight as a normal restaurant or building’s fire exit, so I had managed to pry it open with my hands, though with a lot of exertion, and stumbled inside.

The commotion wasn’t for no reason. A bookshelf had, in fact, toppled over, though for what reason I still don’t know. I saw the Contortionist sat at her vanity, barely visible behind the mess, groaning in a mix of pain and, as had dawned on me when I saw her, pleasure.

She had a steak knife, I don’t know where she could’ve gotten it from, and she was, with near surgical precision, cutting into her face with it. Chunks of her outer layers of skin fell away like the leaves from the trees, slapping the marble counter of the ornate vanity quietly when they fell. After she had removed enough of her skin, she would take foundation from her desk, as well as some other material- clay, I think- and delicately place it over the holes in her skin, plumping her face out, making herself look like a different woman entirely.
I barely managed to stifle a gag, watching her self mutilate, before I finally managed to gain the courage to move.
I turned to leave, but my foot met a book that had been thrown free of the shelf. It was knocked into the trailer wall with a metallic thump, and as I grit my teeth, I heard the fastest set of footsteps I had ever, and likely will ever, hear in my life. She stood in front of me before I could even turn to look at where she had been, staring at me with her perfect almond eyes. I was frozen, and even if I wasn’t, she was blocking the door I had come in from, and the other door out was inaccessible, due to the bookshelf. Before you ask, no, I don’t know how she got over it. No one should have been able to.
“Why are you here?” She asked me.

“What.. what the fuck are you doing to your face?”

She tilted her head, blood spurting from a hole in her face that revealed her teeth.

“I just want to look like you.” She murmured.

“Like me?”

“Like a person.” She replied.

“Leave.” She said, and stepped out of the way of the door. I staggered, before I ran as fast as I could to my car and drove off to the local police department.

I tried to tell the police what had happened, but for some reason- they didn’t care. They heard me, they understood what I said, but they said, and I quote, “Self Harm isn’t a crime, son. I’m sorry, we can’t help you.” And escorted me out. I tried to quit after that, tried to find a job in the town we were in. Starting a new life in bumfuck Egypt would be more pleasant than spending more time there. But no place would hire, and as pathetic as it was to admit, I lived on the circus grounds like the owner and the two performers. So I begrudgingly went home the day they were scheduled to pack up, and- I continued traveling with them.

I.. I don’t feel good. I want to write more, but I feel ill. I need to lay down. If I’m feeling up to it tomorrow, I’ll try and keep writing. Sorry, all. Just- if you listen in the Southern States, right now, up against the Gulf.. don’t go to Zirkus Der Puppen.