My mom told me I'm the reason for everything that's been happening to me , I'm the reason I've sle, and I did this to myself
I'm not able to injest food properly from a few days.. I tried telling this to my mum but she doesn't understand, my mother thinks I'm just making excuses and doing all of this on purpose!!! She keeps telling me to eat more food even when she knows it's hard for me to engulf food and that I'm here 'at this stage of my life' just cause I don't eat food and that if I'll start eating everything that she says I'll be cured. Today in an argument she told me that I've got all of this conditions cause of my habbit of eating spicy food since childhood, and this was bound to happen to me (I was only 19 when I was diagnosed with sle). I'm the only sole reason for everything I've been going thought and that I prolly deserve this.
It breaks my heart to hear such cruel stuff from my own mum's mouth.
I used to live in hostel before diagnosis .
My parents didn't let me opt for physical college cause of my diagnosis ,even though everyone tried to persue them against this decision but they didn't budge.
At the end I had to do as they said. (They told me I can live on streets and they will cut me off completely if I won't listen to them)
The environment at home is very toxic. I'm afraid of dying, I don't wanna die but I can't continue like this anymore, ik I deserve so much better but idk where to go from here