u/Expert-Estate6248

I'm moving to Nagoya for a year at the end of the summer for a study abroad. I've been there before, and I'm familiar with flights and whatnot, but I was wondering if there was a way to package some stuff up in a box and ship it to my dorm.

Since it was long-term, I was hoping to bring some pots and pans, kitchen utensils and whatnot, as well as a few other items including fans, books, etc. It really isn't too much, but it would be a pain to sacrifice clothing room in my suitcases.

I suppose I've had vaguely leftist opinions for my whole life, but now that I've started university, I've begun to take my studies much more seriously and broaden my perspective.

Every single day the horrors of colonialism and the fact that my country is funding a genocide overseas with my tax dollars weighs heavily on my mind. I was nearly brought to tears while reading a book about Chinese language reform because of how the colonized had to interact with their colonizers. Every single issue I have seems to stem from a capitalist system meant to exploit labor and resources, and everyone that I know is trying to do their best under the system but the extent to which we can do good is limited. It is obvious that capitalism needs to be replaced with something else.

I've been as active as I know how to be in my community, participating in protests and whatnot, but I want to know more so I can do more.

However, I am skeptical of alternative systems. Every time I hear communism, I think of Mao's great leap forward or the cultural revolution, Stalin's work camps, political purges, and the Holodomor, the people who disappeared under Fidel Castro's regime, etc. Not to say that capitalism is better. Capitalist societies like the British manufactured the Irish potato famine and killed more than 100 million Indians, the Atlantic slave trade and the colonialization of the Americas killed hundreds of millions more. However, leftists seem to idolize figures like Stalin, Fidel, Che, Mao, etc. and it is confusing to me.

This is all to say, I know I've gotta read some Karl Marx, but I don't really know where to go from there. I also don't understand the allure of communism, although I am sure it's partially because of my lack of knowledge. I feel like the main defense for communism is that it's "never been done correctly!" and if it were, then we would be living in paradise. How should I approach study? What do I even stand to gain from reading more? How do I know what has actual value?

sorry for such a loaded question. I've had a lot on my mind recently.