How do I tell if what happened counts as trauma?
Hey, I’m 20F and I have trouble to talking to therapist irl bc I don’t know if anything I’ve gone through was actual trauma. For context when I was 15 I came out to my mom as lesbian and she freaked out and put me in therapy at church. I’ve had multiple therapist ask if it was conversion therapy but I truly don’t know. For a while we would just talk and then she started insisting on me doing EMDR so I did. I don’t really understand how EMDR works but it’s seemed like at first she was trying to ask me questions to see if I was bullied and then after a couple sessions she started asking questions where it seemed like she was trying to figure out if I’d ever been SA’d. I would leave every session crying and over the course of it I actually did remember an instance of SA when I was a kid but I don’t know if it was real or I just kinda made it up subconscious bc I felt pressured by my therapist. After that I refused to do EMDR and I tried to seem better in front of my family and therapist so I could stop going. Now here are my questions:
Is the therapy I went to conversion therapy? Or just a bad therapist?
How can I tell if what I remembered is real?
If what I remembered is real is that’s what’s influenced my sexuality?
Please let me know. Thanks