I Think I Ruined My BF's Friendship
Disclaimer: possible mention of harassment.
(Head's up, I apologize for the terrible English and probably a long story.)
My boyfriend had a long campaign as a DM that consists of 4 players including me; a bard, a rogue, and 2 clerics. 3 girls, 2 guys and one of them is the DM. It was an online session and it was pretty much had a flexible schedule. We were doing quite well for the whole 3 months (schedule happened once a week), but I started to notice something about one of the players during these games. I noticed that the guy who's playing as the cleric has been silent for the majority of the sessions. Every time we had to take a group's decisions, he always answered with "I'm just following you guys" without stating any arguments or reasons - or at least help us out with the decisions. To the point I noticed that I ended up thinking that this guy had a grudge over our party.
We were known to be a chaotic group. All of us were chaotic, except the guy. And whenever he became chaotic, somehow it almost killed the whole group and it happened around 2-3 times. Other than that, he was always in the shadows. Even when the DM gave him the spotlight, he always answered with something like "give it to the other girls" or "there's nothing that I want to do" and ended up making things awkward (FYI, the DM usually gives every players their own spotlight so nobody feels left out). This was also the time where the bard player decided to leave the campaign due to IRL matters.
Because of this, my boyfriend felt suspicious about him. I also told him that he is awfully quiet in most of the sessions even though the rest of the players are trying to get him involved in the scene and always ended up getting the same response over and over again. I told my boyfriend to ask about the guy's behavior through his group server (since they have one), in case it only happened in our campaign. And even though it is, I feel like that's just messed up.
I was wrong, and I feel like asking to my boyfriend's group server was the worst thing that could possibly happen... and also the WTF thing(s) that I have ever heard.
During the whole conversation with the group, everyone has been saying at how terrible the guy's behavior as a player is. Every single part of the stories they mentioned sound exactly the same as what we had in our campaign; (1) him being awfully quiet during majority of the sessions and somehow hoarding the whoe spotlight for a long time when he was given the chance, (2) never give any opinions or answers when it comes with group decisions, and one more thing that gave us the biggest ick, is how he forced another player's character (where the player is a girl) to like him and kissed his character even though it was being stated at how uncomfortable it was One of the person even said that he forced himself to have a romantic relationships with any girls, even the NPCs. I also found out through my boyfriend that he had a "double table" online session and clashed with his session, yet he never said anything about it.
My boyfriend was upset, and I was taken aback from the stories from the group (since they're also DMs and players). Everyone gave him advice to cut off from the guy, since they also did the same from their experiences with him. And he did. My boyfriend told the guy that he won't be able to take him as a player anymore and told him to leave. Our campaign was axed immediately since it was only two players left, and our DM told us that he will redo everything while trying to find new players to play with.
Now, we're currently playing in another campaign that consists of 5 players. We're doing well since the campaign is already running for 2 months. Chaotic group, but everyone is having a lot of fun and being active during the whole sessions. Though, I do feel bad to see my boyfriend having to cut off his friendship and never talked to the guy anymore when they used to be quite close with each other. But at the same time, I feel like he deserved that too.