u/FactRepresentative79

I feel compromised
like someone bought my dreams
for cheap,
the ones I held dearly, as if I hadn’t.
My mind is tired.
I see through myself now.
I’m so self-aware
it makes me sick.
I see the brokenness in me
and hide from it
out of fear.
This emptiness
will it ever end,
or do I keep falling?
I wonder where I learned
to fake a smile so well.
Was it you, Mother
that taught me
to curse like this?
My insides rot
from years
of make-believe.
I’m scared.
Can anyone hear me?
Or will you keep praising
how long will I have to
endure
the charade?

I feel compromised
like someone bought my dreams
for cheap,
the ones I held dearly, as if I hadn’t.
My mind is tired.
I see through myself now.
I’m so self-aware
it makes me sick.
I see the brokenness in me
and hide from it
out of fear.
This emptiness
will it ever end,
or do I keep falling?
I wonder where I learned
to fake a smile so well.
Was it you, Mother
that taught me
to curse like this?
My insides rot
from years
of make-believe.
I’m scared.
Can anyone hear me?
Or will you keep praising
how long will I have to
endure
the charade?

I know I’m carrying a weight
I was never meant to carry.

Maybe that’s why
I look the way I do.

Could you tell
how disproportionate I seem?

Like a child emotionally regulating a house,

only for a tornado
to come and knock it all down.

Forget what I said
it’s not what I meant.

I don’t want to talk right now.

I used to open up,
but that just doesn’t feel right.

It made me put away my pride.