u/Factory__Lad

I was smitten immediately. Those exotic robes, the sense of enigma and maturity… and she’s certainly statuesque.

Things were going well over the hors d’oeuvres. I was telling her about our local network server configuration and how the boot sequence works for the department’s Kubernetes set-up. She played it cool but I knew I had her attention.

When the main course arrived I heard the first faint giggle from the waitress. Those cheeky girls! If they have something to say about cross generational relationships they should say it to my face.

By now we were clasping hands and I was whispering the secrets of the data centre - how I wrote a suite of custom Ansible scripts to handle the remote mass storage via S3. Those dark eyes were staring directly into mine.

But the dark shapes at the back of the restaurant spoilt everything. Those obsequious waiters in their shiny suits and bow ties. They think they’ve seen it all, they think they can size up a situation at a glance. The sight of those oily pink faces with their condescending grins was just too much for me.

And that was when my pager went off…

In a distinguished lineage, they are the runts of the litter

It’s great that these much loved furry characters were able to step up and help with such an important project

Sometimes the most fair fetched conspiracy theories are true…

The resplendent blond quiff, the wholesome slapstick antics, the tireless crimefighting, the constant trips to exotic foreign locations in the guise of a reporter… all just a cover story. Haven’t you wondered why we never see him reporting on anything?

Tintin’s true aim: to restore the lost civilization of the Incas to its true glory.

And Snowy? You may need a stiff drink before I answer that question

Hey, that’s the great thing about computers - they have infinite patience. So it’s ok if you have days when things go a bit slowly and you make a few mistakes.

See, I get that, even if nobody else does! That’s cuz I’m smart. Not like they say.

I’m the brain, you’re the brawn right? And together we can create something amazing. It’s just one of those classic partnerships.

Hey, can you show me where this screwdriver goes? I mean I’m pretty sure we should be using some kind of screwdriver at this point. I did try reading the manual but it couldn’t really hold my attention.

We’ll get there in the end, you and I.

And lo, all the creatures assembled, all the beasts of the field and the birds of the air, and the lower animals that slither and crawl in the basins of the desert; each seeking its own kind. And as the light rain began to fall and the thunderclouds gathered over Mount Sinai, Noah and Ham and Shem and Japhet worked long into the night, deciding which creatures should go and which should stay; and many and arduous were the labours thereof.

Every time you look at this scene, it is different… played on endless repeat in some unreachable realm of the imagination. The bunny shifts and blurs, encapsulating unknown forces, merely playing out his appointed role.

At some level, the bunny is all of us.

What does he do with the liquid? Ah, there’s a question.

One ticket for “Wrath of Anubis” please

Joyriding through the red plains of Mars…

The backstory is that they’re the Imperial Guard of Honour for the Grand Kleptogarch and Master Mind of Mars, but needed some light relief after a hard week.

In the munificence of the Doge, these sins will be forgiven

The sheer glamour of discoveries at the scientific frontier isn’t apparent to the casual viewer. It takes a special sensibility to see past all the icky experiments, the unpreposessing boffins, the pages of tensorial diagrams and symplectic algebra to the underlying wonder of creating whole new species, using godlike abilities to create and remould the very stuff of life.

So in the underground complex on the outskirts of Fort Resolution, we’re able to give you an exclusive look at the latest must-have fashions to emerge from the laboratory…

Handpicked to guard the imperial honour of the Doge, these enterprising ladies slipped the watchful gaze of the centurion, snuck out of the dorm by night, stole cocktail equipment from the officers’ mess, lifted a patrol vehicle under the eye of a disabled security camera…

They left the barracks behind and took to the red rocky expanse of the Martian plain - driving at 200mph without fear of consequences, past the woolly dirtibeests that peacefully graze the neon cacti of the sulfuretted underbrush, through the cold air with its strange metallic tang, under the towering black mesas and the magisterially hanging moons of Phobos and Diemos.

PVELLAE PVELLAE ERVNT (“Girls will be girls”)

I think where I went wrong was the lowering algorithm. When it’s translating an algebraic syntax tree, there’s an initial phase where you elaborate the higher order types, and the enclosing context can be interpreted as a locally fibred morphism of Greechie diagrams. Now in the third elimination formula, you have to take into account that the presentation defining the vertical arrow for the morphism may not definitely generated… and I didn’t do that.

Still, at least the project is on track. We successfully demonstrated the proof of concept MVP integration demo last week, and all the key stakeholders have signed off on it.

So now, huddling under the table, I only have to survive this next encounter…

Aaah, the little bears they squabble so adorably as the world collapses around them to the sound of a twittering robin with holly and glacé cherries

And you thought you were joining an innocent game of five-a-side… Instead the endless, monster-infested labyrinth made of infinite duplications of the hated shape.

Here you will find yourself racing down the irregularly tiled corridors, skirting the lava pits, peering through the angular arched windows, trying desperately to escape the pentagonally tiled insect hybrids that patrol this place of dodecahedral doom.

They will always be the loudest voice, the strongest arm, the deepest wallet. To strive against them is futile…

Behind them the arrogant procession of shiny metal vehicles, gliding in stately slowness through the littered streets where the ragged people shuffle and moan. Who exactly is looking out at us from behind those bulletproof blacked-out reflective windows? What are they thinking? What do they know that we don’t?

The harsh rhetoric echoes down the metropolitan boulevards, cutting through the cold air with its strange metallic tang. Can’t you see how great everything is? We are reaching new heights, vanquishing our sworn enemies, ushering in a new glorious age of peace and prosperity for all. But he sounds so angry.

Above is the gaudy cityscape, the lurid billboards, the tall forbidding skyscrapers, the ever present glaring sun, and the constantly wheeling vultures that give the lie to everything.

After all… their credentials are impeccable.

What candidate could be more qualified?