u/False-Illustrator-21

So I’ve rewritten this song so many times. And I’ve failed miserably all the way through trying to write it. I’ve lived inside it for so long now I can’t tell if it’s just the song no longer impresses me or if it’s genuinely just bad. I’m a huge Bill Callahan fan mostly, but I also listen to Bonnie Prince Billy, Molina, Bob Dylan, all that kind of stuff. But my writing is mostly inspired by Callahan which is probably an insult to him, but just so you know what I’m going for. Anyway here’s the lyrics, don’t hold back I promise you can’t be harder on me than myself. Just tell me honestly what you think so I can make improvements. Funnily enough my wife loves it, but I don’t really trust her tastes in writing.

Lyrics:

There’s grey wolves circling in the field

The forest does not interfere

And Through the flickering gaps

Are lambs huddled in a center mass

I’m standing at the forest edge

Burning down a cigarette

The wolves lunge on the center

Blood hits the grass

The red oak trees stand to the side

Just stay still, let it pass

A short bleat comes from the pile

Swallowed in smoke, I watch them fall

I don’t move at all

Nothing steps in

Not even the wind

Not the trees

Not me

The wolves stand over flesh and bone

They turn their backs then they’re gone

A body lifts its head and looks at me

My cigarette is burned down

I snuff it on the ground and leave

Nothing steps in

Not even the wind

Not the trees

Not me

Nothing steps in

Not even the wind

Not the trees

Not me

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u/False-Illustrator-21 — 23 days ago