u/False_Feature534

I've basically been working my whole life, and my last few jobs were real careers. I was an employee and then a business owner for 17 years, and I had around 10-14 employees in the restaurant/bar industry. I left a job in state corrections after 9 years because some family circumstances came up with my aging parents, and I needed to change my path.

I've been applying for jobs on Indeed here in California and getting nowhere. What I've noticed is that if I see a job posted there, then go directly to the company's own website and apply, at least my chances of getting an interview are better. But after the interview it's either complete silence, or the polite email saying, "We've decided to move forward with other candidates."

I also applied to a private for-profit nursing program because I'm trying to get into a stable career that I might be able to use to increase my retirement income and work in as my last career. I'm not trying to be picky, I'm just trying to find something stable and logical long-term.

Am I crazy, doing something wrong, or just not understanding how bad the job market is right now? Or is the problem me? I always hear that employers can't find qualified people, but I can't even get an entry-level job after 6 months.

I really got beaten down over the past period. Over three months, I made it to 4 final rounds. Every time, I felt like I was doing well - good vibes, my answers were solid, and I was confident that I was definitely getting accepted. And then, silence or the usual "we won't be moving forward with you" email.
The whole thing was genuinely brutal. Honestly, I started blaming anything else - the budget, or that they hired someone internally, or that the market was completely messed up. It's much easier to convince yourself that the system is against you than to admit that you might be doing something wrong.
After the fourth rejection, I sent a follow-up to the HR lead. I wasn't expecting a response, but she spoke to me honestly.
She told me: "Your experience is perfect, but you took way too long on the first few questions to the point that we didn't have time to ask you about your experience as a technical lead."
That was the reason. I thought that when I explained in detail, I was showing how good I was. But in reality, I was dominating the conversation and boring them.
Here's what I did to fix it:
I started setting myself a 75-second limit for each answer. I would literally run a stopwatch on my desk during Zoom calls. At first, it felt way too short, but it forces you to get straight to the point.
I started doing a "check-in" at the end of my answers. Something like: "I can go into more detail on the technical side if you'd like, or we can move on to the next topic." This lets the interviewer stay in control. And most of the time, they're happy for us to move on to the next thing.
I forced myself to get used to silence. I used to feel this weird pressure that I had to fill every second of silence. Now, as soon as I finish my thought, I stop talking completely and wait. It feels awkward for 5 seconds, but in reality, it makes you come across as much more confident.
I used my phone to record my practice sessions. This was the hardest thing because I hate my voice, but it opened my eyes. I discovered that I repeat myself and use the word "like" way too much when I get nervous.
About three weeks after I started doing this, I finally got an offer.
I don't think it was luck. The whole vibe of the interview changed. It started to feel like a real conversation instead of just a presentation from me while they kept looking at their watches.
If you're making it to the end and not getting the offer, try to see whether you're talking "with them" or "at them."
Has this happened to anyone else? And what's the most important piece of advice that really made a difference for you?

I've been looking for work since February after I left my last position in scheduling at a transportation company. The gap on my resume is about eight months. It's not because I was fired or sitting around doing nothing. My mother had a major health scare at the beginning of the year, and I found myself being the person managing doctor visits, prescriptions, insurance forms, and basically handling everything to keep things going until she got better. She's fine now, so that's why I started applying again.
Most recruiters have asked me about the gap, and I usually say I had a family health situation that has since been resolved. Most of the time, that answer is enough. A few weeks ago, I made it to the final round for an admin coordinator job, and honestly, it seemed like a very good fit for me. The first three conversations went well. Then the department manager joined the final call and would not let the gap topic go. He asked me whether "family problems" might happen again, whether I had "coverage in place," and whether there was any way they could verify that the situation was over. I stayed polite, but I felt like he was judging whether my life would make me a liability instead of seeing whether I could do the job or not.
The thing that bothered me most was the way he phrased things. He said they needed someone "fully present, with no outside complications," and asked me to send an email with a brief explanation of the resume gap before they made a decision. After the call, I told the recruiter I wanted to withdraw. She seemed surprised and said I was probably their strongest candidate, and that maybe he had been overly direct because they had previously had attendance problems with someone. Since then, I've kept going back and wondering whether I walked away from a real opportunity in a tough job market.
I understand that employers want people they can rely on. And I also understand that I need income. But if this is how they question me before there's even an offer, I was worried about how they would treat me once I was already there. Has anyone else walked away from interviews at this stage because of the way they handled a resume gap? I don't know if I made a smart decision or if I just got scared.

and now they're annoyed because I keep calmly postponing their investigation meeting I was working a casual security shift at a small shop that sells drinks. One of those jobs where you're there to be seen, not to act like some action-movie cop. The instructions are very simple: don't intervene, stay safe, observe what's happening, and write a report.

I got to the shift, and there was no radio, no headset, nothing. I asked three different employees about it. They all agreed I was supposed to have one, but somehow no one brought it. So I'm standing there as a "security guard" with no way to communicate with anyone if things kicked off.

A little while later, a few people walked in and out very calmly with alcohol tucked under their arms. I couldn't alert anyone because, surprise surprise, still no radio.

Then one of the shop employees - an older woman with gray hair, probably in her early seventies - came over and told me to stand directly in front of the main doors. Which is the one place the security company specifically told us not to stand, because if someone runs or gets aggressive, you are literally the first thing in their way.

I told her I was supposed to observe from a safe position, not act like a human traffic cone blocking the exit. She replied with: "The guard before you got removed because he said no." When I asked her to show me anything proving that, suddenly she didn't want to talk about it anymore. Funny how that happens.

So now I'm on a site with no radio, no backup, and the client's staff pressuring me to ignore safety instructions, while threatening that I'd be fired if I didn't. I called the control line to report what was happening, the call lasted about a minute, and then it cut off.

In the end, I wrote a detailed incident report about the unsafe instruction, the missing radio, and the try at intimidation, and then I left the site.

About a week later, management sent me a formal letter accusing me of "leaving my post without authorization." No questions about what happened. No mention of the report I submitted. Just the usual copy-paste HR talk about "gross misconduct" and how serious it all is.

The funniest part was when I told them I wouldn't be able to attend the disciplinary meeting on the 12th. The manager immediately replied:

"Thursday the 14th at 1030." Without checking whether the time suited me. No question. Just decided I would be there.

Now I've tested positive for COVID, so I emailed them and said the matter has to wait until I recover. You can practically hear them grinding their teeth through the email. They desperately want to push through their little procedure, and I am simply, politely, not moving on their timeline.

I'm going to hand in my resignation anyway, but honestly, watching their panic as they try to keep the "process" moving while I'm sitting at home recovering has been absolutely beautiful.

I have a difficult conversation with my manager on Wednesday, and I'd really appreciate hearing from people who have been managers of employees in a similar situation. I'm trying to understand how you would honestly feel if you were in her place.

The context is that I've been in a leadership development program at a Fortune 300 company for almost 3 years, and I'm seen as one of the stronger performers. My manager has put a huge amount of time and effort into helping me grow. Our team is literally almost just the two of us. She gave me clear, important, high-stakes work, brought me into meetings where major decisions were being made, pushed hard for me to move up earlier than usual, and always spoke well of me in front of senior leaders. She has genuinely been a real mentor to me, especially with things like dealing with difficult stakeholders, office politics, and how to lead without looking like I'm overstepping my boundaries.

The difficult part is that our entire department is being moved to Latin America. I was asked to stay a few more months to help with the transition. Also, my director created a custom role specifically for my final rotation, which apparently hasn't been done before for anyone else in the program. So it's clear they've gone the extra mile for me and see me as someone worth investing in.

And now I have to tell her that I accepted a job at a major competitor. The compensation is about 90% higher, and the role is a big step up in title and scope. Honestly, if I stayed where I am now, I think it would take me about 6 years to reach that same level, if it happened at all.

So my question for managers is: if you had invested all of this in someone, created opportunities for them, advocated for them, and then they came in the middle of a messy transition when the team is already under pressure and stretched thin and said they were leaving...

What would your first reaction be? Frustration? Disappointment? Would you understand because it's clearly a huge career move? Would you feel blindsided or shocked? And would it permanently change how you view that person? Also, is there anything they could say or do to make the conversation go better?

I'm not looking for sympathy or validation. I'm going to take the offer. I just want to go into the conversation with a better sense of how this might look and feel from her side.