Hello, I've been trying to write a story for a long time now and I'm starting to get a bit blind to mistakes and potential issues with my writing. So i was wondering if i could get some pointers and feedback on it so far, is it straining to read? Progressing too slow?

It's meant to read as an expedition log for a scientific group exploring the worlds created by a mechanical portal. I'm also trying to give the two writers of the expedition log different writing styles, so I'm curious to see if that comes across well or even works.

In case it matters, I got inspired to write because of CreepCast and i intend to post the full story here once it's done.

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The following reports were recovered from a bunker complex located 35 km northwest of Reggane, Algeria, translated and re-archived on the 21st of January. 

Item 1, “Amperfield Report 06/03/199F”: 

Amperfield Report

06/03/199F

Expedition Two (2), Amperfield 1st and 2nd Ring

Personell (3): Dr. Strasser, A. B. Wallace, Cpl. Andrè

Equipment:

1. (2) Leatherbound Notebook
2. (2) Navigational Tools
3. (2) Measuring Tools
4. (3) Mechanical Pocket Clock
5. (3) Geiger Counter
6. (3) Full Cover CBRN Suit
7. (3) FN Five-SeveN, + (6) Magazine
8. (1) FN P90, + (3) Magazine
9. (3) Climbing Kit, + 26 m Rope
10. (3) CBRN Rated Tarp 3x4m
11. (3) CBRN Backpack
12. (3) Ration (Covering 5 days)
13. (1) First Aid Kit

Day 1:

Writer: Strasser
Upon entering the machine we were met with the same landscape team 1 of the first expedition encountered; indicating it opens to the same location on startup, meaning exploration will be consistent across the following expeditions. About 5 km South of the machine lies the Amperfield, a seemingly endless field of monolithic objects lined up like pawns on a shifted chessboard atop a bed of undisturbed sand. After walking for an hour and 16 minutes we reached the first row; where we found the plaques reported previously, fastened on the front face of the monoliths depicting a simplistic figure of a human, torn into pieces. Nothing more, nothing less, an unmistakable warning of danger. Preparing to enter we turned on our geiger counters, equipped our harnesses and bound a rope to keep us collected. The monoliths stood tight together featuring wide protruding slopes at torso height making maneuvering awkward and strenuous, only allowing space for one person at a time; forcing us to slink in a zig-zag pattern to make progress.

Despite its maze-like qualities there appears to be no attempt to confuse or mislead anyone entering the field as every monolith stands untouched by its neighbour. During our journey through the first ring we make a point of counting how many monoliths we pass; as a measure of how deep we have traveled to ensure we can get out before our rations run out, something which has turned out to be slightly maddening as the repetitive movement and identical spectacle of the monoliths offer no reprieve. Reaching hour 4 of this day’s travel we take a small break, which too offered no consolidation as the underside of the monoliths’ slope made leaning onto it uncomfortable and awkward. Instead I opted to lay in the sand to straighten up my back; however, this made me realize the sun had not moved a millimeter since we first entered this barren inhospitable place. Could this place be rotation-locked in orbit? Or is the day-night cycle significantly slower than our own? Unfortunately the monoliths offer no shade as the sun stands on the highest point in the sky. This is punishingly exhausting. I’ve made some additional observations as we rest and review our journey so far, for one i don’t recall a single gust of wind as we walked from the machine to the Amperfield, nor has the geiger counter ticked a single time since we turned them on. Even back home there is detectable background radiation regardless how little.

In spite of my stewing thoughts and reluctance to subject myself to this contortionist playground we picked back up and continued navigating our way forwards. Reaching hour 7 of this day the geiger counter uttered its first tick, followed few and far in between by some measly and shy ticks as we paused to listen for more. So far it’s struggling to measure up to regular background radiation, so no indication to take precaution yet. Finishing the last hour of travel we take to an intersection and set up our small camp, prepare and eat an MRE each, rewind our clocks and cover ourselves in tarps to get some sleep. Sleep is a generous word for what basically was intermittently passing out from exhaustion and waking up in a pool of sweat from the scorching sun; baking me like a potato. Luckily Wallace and Andrè had an easier time getting rested as they are more resourceful with their equipment, in light of which I will be entrusting Wallace to log the next day’s travel, maybe the report will get a sunnier disposition in her narrative. Good Night.

Day 2:

Writer: Wallace
As our clocks hit the 16 hour mark we pack up camp, make our preparations and set off further into the field. Due to Dr. Strasser’s difficulties getting rested, Andrè has agreed to carry most of their equipment until we set up camp. During hour 18 the monoliths took on another shape, Ring 2, which marks the half-way point of expedition one. Movement has become easier and less cumbersome. Unlike the diamond shape of ring one’s monoliths, these stand like waist-high black marble bowls, with a hole draining down a thick swan-like neck into the sand. They are rigid and immovable and attempts to discover where they drain have been proven moot, however, they are surmised to go several kilometers down.

Due to the newfound freedom of movement we packed our rope and harnesses and moved on. The next 4 hours were uneventful, up until Dr. Strasser tripped and hurt themselves. Luckily only some minor scrapes, however, what they tripped on seems to be a huge array of thin slats barely sticking out of the sand. Made of the same material as the monoliths of ring one, albeit coarse and sandpaper-like. On closer inspection there is a slope starting from the threshold slowly tilting onwards and downwards, hidden by layers of leveled sand. The slats are packed close enough together to walk on without issue so we continued on. 

Hour 23, geiger counter shows radiation picked up to match normal background radiation. Hour 24, we set up camp using the swan-bowls and tarps to create shade. The slats make resting difficult but with use of the remaining tarps and our backpacks it becomes bearable. As we prepared our rations for the day we noticed that the sand lays lower in the slats than when we initially passed the threshold, supporting the idea that the slope is still descending. Logging will be handed back to Dr. Strasser for the next day. The sun has still not moved.

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