u/Few-Appointment-9241

So I’ll start I dropped out of highschool last year which I feel was one of the biggest mistakes I could have made, ever since then I’ve fallen into a pretty deep depression smoking weed basically daily because it’s the only thing that changes how I feel, I’ve been unable to keep down a job let alone even be accepted for a job.

I have practically no skills in anything relevant, I’ve started multiple courses but nothing feels like it makes me happy, I know I need to find something in the meantime just for the money but it feels so hard i want to change but where do I even begin when I’ve fell so far from where I once was, still live with my mum and I just feel ashamed and disappointed in myself.

I don’t think I’ve woken up happy in a very long time but I’ve became accustomed to my life of having no responsibilities it just feels like the most monumental task to become something better I just feel the most deep self hatred for myself and idk what to do any advice would be helpful

I had my first trip on HBWR yesterday and it was an extremely weird and strong experience, I had extreme visuals when body parts moved to create a strong visual and laughing really hard while moving like rhythmically with all my body parts created the most beautiful happy feelings and visual it was like the seeds loved me and were telling me I was okay.

I also had some strong emotions when on it and just felt so okay and happy where I am now with myself these are very pleasant seeds, they did lower my inhibition and make me say some stupid shit I probably wouldn’t want to say but oh well doesn’t hurt me lol any one have any thoughts or been through a similar experience?

This has been my first time ever trying a psychedelic and I’m tripping rn i originally took 6 and threw up after 30 minutes before I felt effects, I then resided with 2 seeds sublingually and like probably 8 wfter to get the effects I want, I am trying hard to type this, listening to seek and destroy, I feel at one with everything.

I’ll try and end use paragraphs too idk, lights are so bright and visual kind of not like fully idk. Behind eyes, I feel so at peace with my life and existence im sick and I ate a cough lolly my vape hits so good i am so at one with my life listening to Metallica I had a plan for this now im just typing maybe I should do a trip report why am I typing anything bad I say I’m keeping because it’s who I am and it’s me I’m everything I ever was and still am, I’ll
try and do time stamps after an hour