u/Fiery-Jinkx

UPDATE: i have talked to my mom, friends and therapist. im feeling okay and focusing on my upcoming school semester and planning stuff to look forward to thursday when i switch to purées. thank you guys for the support! i’m gonna do it. i’m gonna cry but i’m gonna make it.

i feel like i made a mistake. i’m losing weight yes but the mental torture of being restricted to a diet feels like being 11 again and forced to do slim fast. i miss eating. i miss chewing. i hate the bubbling in my stomach when im full. i genuinely want to start SH again im so depressed. i feel like ive mutilated my body all because i couldn’t fucking control myself. does it ever get easier. i know everything takes time but that’s what scares me when every minute feels like hours.

i feel like this is such a silly anxious thought but i get bypass in 8 days and i keep having this fear of what if it doesn’t work. for forever i have felt doomed to my body, GLP-1’s, diets, appetite suppressants, therapy, thyroid medication, PCOS management. nothing has worked. this is truly my last resort and i’m afraid i’ll be trapped forever

gang i feel so screwed. my surgery is August 12th and i cannot find a protein shake that doesn’t taste like straight ass. i’ve tried 6 flavors of Premier, Fairlife, Ensure, Alani Nu, and powders and even tried making them ice cream in my ninja creami. they all taste the exact same no matter the flavor. i feel like im drinking wet clay regardless. i want to try clear but hear that’s chalky too? am i just SOL?