u/Final_Pattern_2170

We recently weaned our daughter off the NG tube. She’s a former 26 weeker, now 18 weeks adjusted. I was the only person feeding her throughout the wean, which took 3.5 weeks. Now, our medical provider is challenging me to expand the circle of caregivers allowed to feed her, and they provided me with a plan on how to do that.

I work from home, but I have so many meetings. Despite having full time help at home, I don’t feel comfortable letting anyone else feed her or even prepare her bottles. My daughter used to have such a bad relationship with feeding, and because she’s eating so well now, I am absolutely terrified of a regression or of someone accidentally pressuring her to eat by misreading her cues.

There have been many times when the nannies would text me to say she’s showing hunger cues, but I would come out, look at her, and realize the cues were insufficient. I don’t even let my husband feed her.

I know I probably need to speak to a professional about this, but my fear is that if the feeding routine I set up isn't followed to the letter, she won't eat as well. I don’t do anything overly complicated, but we always have meditation music on, we feed in the same chair by the window, she locks eyes with me, and most importantly she trusts me. Still, I recognize that I need to take care of myself; I can’t keep blocking off two hours of my day or avoiding calls just because she needs to be fed. Honestly, I have contemplated quitting my job just because of this pressure.

Our daughter was born at 26 weeks last October (she’s 17 weeks corrected). Since discharging in late January, life has been pure hell as far as feeding is concerned.

Our private SLP diagnosed her with a "chronic pediatric feeding disorder". Her notes said my daughter could only handle less than 10 mL, lacked endurance, and couldn't coordinate thickened feeds. Her solution was pushing through oral exercises and jaw massages even when my baby was crying and distressed.

The lowest point was reading her final report on late April. She blamed "variability in caregiver implementation" as a primary barrier. She made me feel like I was the reason my own kid couldn't eat. By late April, the pressure caused a severe behavioral bottle aversion. She would lose her mind if the bottle even came near her face.

I finally hit a wall and said enough. I realized she didn’t have a broken suck reflex, she had untreated silent reflux. She hated the bottle because it meant pain and fluid forced on her while she was distressed.

I fired the therapist, stopped the SLP’s protocols (including the invasive myofacial exercises) and found an MD who listened. We changed everything:

Got her silent reflux under medical control (we started her on meds 3 weeks before we attempted the wean)
Stopped the feed the second she showed discomfort. No forcing, no re-offering. We feed her calmly by the window with meditation music on.
Gradually cut her volume per feed
Work to break the psychological dependency on the ng.

In 4 weeks , we reversed months of feeding related trauma.

Today, the NG tube is completely out. On the exact same Size 3 nipple and thickened formula (this adds an additional 100 calories per day to her total intake) the therapist claimed she couldn't handle, she is drinking 105-125 ML per bottle on her own in 8-12 minutes, starring into my eyes.

Anyone else struggle letting anyone else feed their baby?

NG Weaning Success Story- Former 26 Weeker- Now 4 months corrected