Help me please
I am a 21 y/o guy that is serving NS , I have been gambling since I was 17 years old and i've lost about 60k , all my saved up money and me constantly working part time back then. I get paid $800 from NS and I gamble it every month in hopes I could recover what I have lost. But unfortunately I lose everytime and I don't know why I know the suffering of surviving the whole month with just $30 but I still do it to myself , I owe my friends and family a total of $4.5k + , I have lost a huge amount of friends and the trust of my family , as I took their money and gambled and lost it all , I know i'm a terrible person bringing my family into this and being selfish, I really don't know how to repay my friends , one of them is threatening to bring me to court and I am getting really stressed about it. Please help me become a better human