Am I being too sensitive or do I need a new job?
Recently moved to a startup new clinic and I don't think I've ever been more burnt out in my life. It's been a revolving door the entire time; I'm training new staff every few weeks without even being sure they're sticking around and other BCBA support has been nonexistent the whole time. RBT engagement is minimal (and expected with how the majority are brand new to the field) and so much supervision is spent resolving situations reactively despite teaching antecedent and environmental strategies that are never implemented. Ownership/management is nowhere to be found this entire time, no one is ever on site and when they are in touch/available conversation is always punishing and makes me want to seek assistance less and less because of the attitude/unhelpfulness behind it.
Is this all supposed to fall on me? I'm exhausted feeling like I'm doing a bad job even though I've been a BCBA for 4+ years and I know I know my stuff. I'm afraid to teach higher level interventions/redirections because I see technicians still struggling to utilize the basics despite frequent supervisions. My heartrate spikes when my phone buzzes because it's either a passive aggressive message from management, an incident from session that could have easily been avoided, or a parent that needs 30+ minutes to deescalate because of how they were spoken to (honestly more so NOT spoken to) or complaining about lack of progress and needing buy in to keep trusting the process. I feel like Atlas holding up the weight of the world and I'm constantly charging other people's batteries when mine is on 1%.
I could go elsewhere but I hate change and the devil you know is better than the one you don't. I've just never felt so unsupported and unheard despite being out of breath