you. yes you
im talking to you
you on your screen
i dont know you
but i cant tell whether i want to be friends with you or if i want to be enemies with you ignore everything you say
ive been on both ends of the spectrum
both feel good both feel bad
social or antisocial
it is bittersweet either way
i hate you ranu
but you became softer, nicer
why
why
at least youre my opposite
those people are the worst
and you protect me from them
i resent you
you resent me too
but what happened
why have you become someone else
still the same person
but from somewhere else
why the nicer demeanor
why do you not resent me anymore
why
why
why
i understand you now
why you kept working all these years
you had enough money to retire
you were useful at some point
time passed
you weren't anymore
still you tried
you tried new fields
new jobs
stuff outside your comfort zone
and you felt bad
inconveniencing others
its because he was interested in poems too
shut up
he was social
adrian
(he really was into poems)
how did i fall this far
into drugs
it was alcohol
but why
its very hazy but i wanted to be social with a friend
marcos
yes
and i enjoyed it for a long time
i loved it
i worried about weight so i drank it strong
"is there something that tastes better?" so i learned cocktails
it was fun
i drank for so long
my mum disapproved though
and next
no that was it
for many years
until now
thc
cbd
nicotine
why
coworker
no cbd or nicotine now or even alcohol
ive traded 3 for 1
why
its good
thc
its good
it makes me social
im not antisocial anymore