u/Firm_Worldliness_404

Searing blaze of fire upon my skin
I look up and see the blinding light of the sun
It burns me
But the soft radiating cold from the red popsicle in my hand cools me down

I could’ve gone inside
Enjoy the cooling air of the AC blowing on high whilst staring at the signs of the heat beaming off the sidewalk from the window

But I refused

I had refused

Refused the signs and stay outside and endure the heat

As if there was some prize I should keep

I was blinded by the coldness of this popsicle
Believing it was all that I need
To endure this feat

I was so wrong

The heat melted the popsicle so fast,
Melting before my eyes
The sweet flavor I licked at first was just a lie
As underneath laid the flavor I hated the most
- ugh-
Raspberry underneath that cherry highlight

It was just like the kindness you showed to me
The wafting cold that had comforted me
Against the blaze beneath
Of the people who had surrounded me
Burning me like the heat

It was a facade

The lies you said
I should’ve known especially-
The ones untold

I figured,
I was the one broken

So I was the one who was easy to fold

You took over the control

How could you not,
It was easy
I was easy

But I wasn’t whole

Did you think this was right?

The edges of me were jagged and my barrier openings were not so tight,

Anyone could’ve wiggled themselves in
But it was only you, who had dared, the only one who has been

All because

You thought you had the right

But who could blame you

This game is for two
There was me and you

I played along
But I didn’t fight

I thought better of you
That maybe I didn’t see the signs

But it was obvious
I was just blinded by

That cherry highlight-
Your disgustingly beautiful eyes
Your stupid jokes
And your well thought out lies

Fuck I was a fool
I let you in my mind
I thought of you kind

But you were wearing something else
A mask of deception
Hidden by a soft smile

The words you’d say
Woven so well
Like a spider web
Created to trap me
Make me fall-

But

I was wrong

I fell, that’s true alright

And it was all for

Your cruel inflection

Your sweet bitter deception

My words
My thoughts
I keep them inside but I spread them out to you

I bottled all the feelings, I never knew

I never knew just how brightly the sun felt against my skin when I don’t stand next to you
Your tall figure always blocking the sun from my view

Your subtle moves, the way you notice
I can tell you see every time I take a deep breath
I see you take one too

Your eyes glisten with thoughts and care
God it hurt not knowing all the time what was in there

Your mind and spoken words felt like a breath of fresh air
It’s like you knew my thoughts and said them out loud
Every word felt like it was my own
And that caught me off guard

I staggered, I stumbled,
I felt myself breaking inside

You saw it all and you didn’t mind