u/First-Ad-5859

I had an NDE, became aware Jesus is real and true as is the bible.. almost a year ago.

Im a middle aged woman with 4 kids who was previously not a great person... partying, drugs, different guys... the typical "bad mom"...

Hard to explain but now I dont really have any friends, I live in a TINY town where everyone knows everyone so with my past life you can guess how thats going. Ive read about half of the bible now (all of new testament and up to kings in old.)... now having a hard time finding people to connect with and depression is creeping in. Dont really know how to study the bible alone so really feeling frustrated as well. Today was the first time ive had thoughts of unaliving myself and had a calming feeling about it. I know im not going to do it because it's not wat Jesus would want.. but I feel so lost and alone 😭 ive literally tried everything. Churches in my area (not much to choose from) online groups, I dunno, man. Anyone gone through this? Any advice or help? Or anyone looking for christian friends? :(

Can anyone explain to me why when reading the bible most are interpreting "I will give you the prophet Elijah before the day of the Lord" non literally (saying its John, which yes I know Jesus said John came in the spirit of Elijah)... but they interpret Peter's vision of the clean and unclean animals literally?? That vision is interpret as being about gentiles. Im so confused by the literal/ non literal differences that people interpret. Im not even sure this question makes sense the way im asking it.

For reference:

I think if youre going to interpret one symbolicly, you should be able to at least concede that both MAY be symbolic. Or vice versa.. both literal. Am I making sense?!?!