u/Flaky-Self-9500

Last week my partner and I had a near fall on the Kalalau Trail in Kauai and I honestly can’t stop replaying it in my head.

I had hiked the trail about 10 years ago and was the one who suggested we do it. We were well prepared, checked the forecast, let others know our plans, and took all standard precautions. I remembered it being hard and exposed, but manageable if you were careful. This time conditions were way worse and we got caught in an intense band of heavy rain and wind. At one point we both slipped near a washed out section and for several seconds I genuinely thought I was watching the person I love fall to his death. I was able to catch myself on a bush.

I can still hear myself yelling at him to drop his pack, stay low, slide toward me. And then at one point I yelled “I love you” because I truly thought those might be the last words he ever heard from me.

We both made it out physically okay besides scrapes and bruises, but mentally I feel completely wrecked. I keep getting intrusive images of him falling. I’ll suddenly picture it while trying to sleep or when things get quiet. I also feel overwhelming guilt because I was the one who suggested the hike in the first place. I keep thinking “what if.” What if the erosion nets hadn’t been there. What if he had slipped another foot. What if I had gotten him killed because I wanted to share something I loved with him.

The hardest part is that climbing, backpacking, and hiking are huge parts of my life and identity. Usually the outdoors are where I feel most alive and grounded. Right now I feel terrified and confused and honestly don’t know how to emotionally recover from this experience or trust myself again outdoors.

Has anyone else experienced something like this after a near miss in the mountains or while climbing/backpacking? Did the intrusive thoughts eventually calm down? How did you get back outside without panicking or spiraling?

I’d really appreciate advice from people who have been through something similar.

For context this is basically what happened to our group: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijuyhNVr9K8

I’m writing this as a PSA. Just finished the Kalalau Trail a couple days ago and, honestly, I feel lucky to be alive. We made it out to Kalalau Beach without issues, but the rains that have now shut down the park for the last few days completely changed the trail on our hike back out.

The red clay sections became unbelievably slippery, and there were a couple moments where I genuinely wasn’t sure we were going to make it across safely. Huge shoutout to the group we hunkered down with around mile 6 for a couple hours until conditions improved enough for all of us to work together and get everyone across the river safely.

My biggest advice: if there is any threat of rain, do not underestimate the exposed sections around Crawler’s Ledge. The rain had stopped the morning of 5/9, and the first couple miles out of the beach were reasonably dry, so we thought we were good, but a downpour that started around 10 a.m. transformed the trail into something genuinely dangerous.

Please be extremely careful in those sections. There is very little to grab onto, and in some spots a slip could have catastrophic consequences.

The beauty of the Nā Pali Coast was absolutely spectacular, but the conditions can change incredibly fast and deserve a tremendous amount of respect.

Near miss on Kalalau recurring flashbacks, guilt and how to love backpacking again

Kalalau Trail Danger