Feeling disillusioned and lost in academia
I'm feeling fed up with academia and just need a space to vent. I've been working as as a reaearch associate for the past 5.5 years doing stem education research. I have a masters in psychology. This role was originally meant for a postdoc, but they hired me. I'm at my breaking point with several frustrations. I'm incredibly underpaid for the amount of and the type of work I do. I sit in a cubicle while the rest of my colleagues have their own offices. The reason is always that they have phds and I don't. There is no difference in the work that I do compared to my colleagues. I was a senior personnel on eight federally funded grants at one point. I was co-pi on two proposals last summer. I lead and co-author papers. I go to conferences regularly. I'm active in my professional community with professional service. My colleagues do not do anything differently or more work compared to me. I get told by the faculty I work with that I do PhD-level work.
I feel so devalued, disrespected, and just so disillusioned. I feel like the system is so deeply broken, hierarchical, and uninclusive. All I get told by higher-ups is to go back for my PhD. But for a myriad of personal reasons, I can not do that. I just can't. I've tried finding other jobs on and off, but it's been hard in this market. Has anyone else found themselves feeling similarly or in a similar situation? How do you cope? If someone has gotten out of it, how did you do it?