u/Flashy_Response_8818

Hello. I'm an extremely introverted male in his early 30s looking to meet new people. I'm a bit more on the nerdy side. I'm also a recovering alcoholic and get sensory overloaded pretty easily. Events with drinking aren't necessary a no go. I'm strong enough in my recovery to just walk away if I sense the drinking vibes are too strong. However, anywhere that is loud or crowded with a lot of people is a no go.

Once I made it to Riverwood, I parted ways with Hadvar. Hadvar suggested that I talk to his uncle Alvor, Riverwood’s Blacksmith. I spoke with Alvor even though I knew he was going to tell me to speak to Balgruuf the Greater, the Jarl of Whiterun Hold. I didn’t want to bug the main quest. With my physical appearance in the world of Skyrim I had no idea how these quests are going to react. I made my way to the Sleeping Giant Inn after talking with Alvor. Upon entering the inn I saw its few inhabitants: Delphine the proprietor, Orgnar the inn’s merchant, Sven the bard, Embry the town drunk, and standing at the Alchemy Lab, grinding away at a potion was Dagoth Ur. Dagoth looked up, saw me and sighed.

“Really Nerevar, the default Male Nord?”

“The player creation menu didn’t pop up for me. I’m stuck this way.”

“Yeah and Phil Anselmo isn’t racist. Speaking of.”

Dagoth clenched his fist, raised it and started screaming,

“Gray Power! Gray Power!”

“Jesus!”

Dagoth unclenched his fist and lowered it.

“Relax Nerevar. I’m a God! You cannot cancel a God! What a grand and intoxicating innocence! Besides, you can’t cancel someone who don’t give a flying fuck. Let’s get down to business, shall we Nerevar.”

“Let me just say this. I don’t know if I can completely trust you.”

I meant that. Dagoth is twisted and evil. Also, he’s just a straight up troll.

“Hum, valid. You’d be wise not to trust me Nerevar. Remember that trick I pulled on the Nords back in the First Era? Ah. Good times. But what choice do you have? Aside from yourself, I’m the only one who understands what’s going on here and I don’t think you’re fully comprehending the situation. You need me Nerevar. You’re going to have to trust that I have your best interest in mind.”

Dagoth motioned to a small table with two chairs.

“Come Nerevar. Take a seat and we shall palaver over this situation we find ourselves in.”

We went over to the table and took our seats.

“First off, my name’s not Nerevar. It’s Chester.”

“I know you Triple H lookin’ mother fucker! I know a lot of things about you Nerevar.”

“What do you know about me?”

“I’ll reveal that in due time Nerevar.”

“No! You need to tell me now! You can’t say shit like that and not tell me what you know. That’s creepy.”

“Unsettling you, am I Nerevar? Tell me, do you even wish to find your way back to your world?”

He was downright making my skin crawl. What does he know about me? If he was trying to gain my trust, he was doing a poor job. As far as his question goes, I gave an honest answer.

“Honestly, no.”

“I figured this much. I’ll tell you some of what I know Nerevar. You play Skyrim. A lot. More like escape in Skyrim. Based on this information, I can gather that you have a minuscule or non-existent social life. You most likely have no friends or only a small few. And the few you do have don’t bother to check up on you. You have a dead-end job that pays poorly. You hate it but you can’t leave. Your diet consist of Papa John’s, gas station snacks and Mt. Dew. You’re morbidly obese with a micro penis and you’re about to lose a leg to diabetes. You’re not just addicted to video games but also drugs, alcohol and porn. You’re a sexless virgin and you most likely have a mod that allows you to marry your Waifu, Serana. I’m honestly fucking shocked you don’t have the breast enhancement mod installed Nerevar. Your top three seven deadly sins are lust, sloth and gluttony.”

It was frightening how accurate his assessment was. Dagoth really had some vague idea of how pathetic my life truly was. That cut deep. I was struggling to show just how deep his appraisal hurt. Could I cry tears in the digital world of Skyrim? Apparently, I could as the floodgates broke and I started sobbing uncontrollably. I felt every pair of eyes in the inn shift onto me. I had all of the NPCs attention but none of them had any scripted programming to address me in this state, let alone console me. Only Dagoth could interact with me in such a manner and he was being the opposite of consoling.

“Quit crying like a bitch! I didn’t even go full on “Meet the Grahams”! Suck it up buttercup!”

I continued weeping as past memories kept flooding in from before I escaped into this world. Memories that I desperately tried to repress with alcohol, porn and video games.

“Is this how you honor the Sixth House and the Tribe Unmourned? Pull yourself together Chester! And yes, I’m using your real name now. My Sweet Nerevar would never act in such a loathsome manner as you are now. You bring shame to his name with this wretched show.”

My sniveling began to slow despite Dagoth’s less than soothing words.

“So you’re a loser baby. You can change your destiny Chester by starting to make good decisions. Your first good decision, accompanying me while we figure out what caused you to get stuck inside of Skyrim and figure out how to get you home.”

“My life is over in my world. There’s nothing I can do to change it. I think I want to start anew here.”

“You S’wit! You can’t be serious! Skyrim’s engine is held together with Duct Tape and Todd Howard’s hopes and dreams. You really want to live out your life inside of here and risk the game crashing? What do you think will happen to you when the game inevitably crashes? You and I both know it will crash eventually. I guess you don’t care do you? Very well Chester. I guess you want to go to Whiterun and warn the Jarl or perhaps you wish to start the Dawnguard quest line and rescue your Waifu?”

“I want to go to Whiterun first.”

“Alright then. Have it your way Chester. But let’s get one thing straight. This isn’t a fucking game. This is real life now. If you think life will be better for you inside of Skyrim’s engine with your escapist mentality, you’re dead wrong. You’ll never find serenity until you face and make peace with the man in the mirror. You can’t run from your problems here either N’wah. And rest assured Chester that I’ll be taking every opportunity to make things as inconvenient for you as possible until you change your mind.”

Dagoth got up from his seat. There was a bottle of Nord Mead sitting on the table. Dagoth grabs the Nord Mead and places it into his inventory, while letting out a “Yoink” in the process. Delphine took notice of Dagoth’s action.

“Hey, that don’t belong to you!” she yelled from behind the counter. Seconds later, a Whiterun Hold Guard came busting into the inn and made a beeline for Dagoth.

“By order of the Jarl! Stop right there! You’ve committed crimes against Skyrim and her people! What say you in your defense?!”

“It’s just a prank bro.”

The guard did not react.

“What’s the charge? Ordering a meal? A nice succulent Nordic Meal? Fine! I submit! Take me to jail!”

“You’re smarter than you look.”

The guard got behind Dagoth and bound him.

“Farewell Chester! I’ll see you in Whiterun!”

The guard and Dagoth started walking out of the inn. Dagoth had to get off a couple more lines before leaving.

“GET YOUR HAND OFF MY PENIS!! That’s the N’wah who got me by the penis!”

I sat back and soaked in the atmosphere for a while. Shortly after, I got up and started making my own way towards Whiterun.

Has your life ever been so shitty that you just wish you were dead, no longer living on this Earth? Well, that’s me and how I feel now. I just had the worst day ever. I just lost my job and my reputation is ruined. I was playing my favorite game The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim to escape and I ended up falling asleep. Next thing I know, I’m awaking to the sound of a cart being driven by a horse on the road. I realize that I’m inside the cart and bound. I can feel the cold brisk air on my skin as the cart travels towards its destination. Then, I hear Ralof speak.

“Hey, you. You’re finally awake. You were trying to cross the border, right? Walked right into that Imperial ambush, same as us, and that thief over there.”

I looked around and noticed that the cart was being driven by an Imperial guard. Inside of the cart was myself, Ralof (a Stormcloak soldier), a gagged Ulfric Stormcloak (the leader of the rebellion) but where Lokir the horse thief should’ve been was a masked Dunmer. He spoke.

“You already know what this is Nerevar. What, this is your fifth or sixth play through now? Can’t get enough of Daddy Todd’s sloppy toppy can’t you. Do me a solid Nerevar and pick a Dunmer this time. Or do you get off on me being racist towards you, N’wah?

It was Dagoth Ur, the antagonist of The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind. I had a mod installed that allowed you to add him as a follower. If you started a new game with the mod installed, Dagoth Ur would take Lokir’s place in the Helgen cart. I wanted to speak but wasn’t sure if I could. The Elder Scrolls protagonists were always mute. Yet, when I made the attempt to speak, the words came out effortlessly.

“I think I’m dreaming.”

Ralof didn’t seem to notice as he went on saying his scripted line about being brothers in binds but Dagoth noticed.

“Did you install a mod that allows you to speak Nerevar? You mute bitch.”

“This is all a dream. I’m dreaming.”

“Do I look like St. Juib the Eradicator to you? This isn’t the boat to Seyda Neen. This is the cart to Helgen. You’ll know that this is real when Alduin’s bitch ass swoops down and starts raining down hellfire on your ass.”

That would certainly be a good indication that this was all real. But I didn’t need it. I could feel the cold Skyrim air. I’m just struggling to process how this could’ve happened. Both Dagoth and I noticed that Ralof stopped running through his lines.

“Oh fuck Nerevar! I think our conversation bugged the intro. Well, maybe. Let me try something.”

Dagoth turns to Ulfric and says,

“And who’s this gagged N’wah? The leader of the Unga Bungas.”

Dagoth then turned back to me. I could tell even through the mask that he was disappointed he didn’t trigger Ralof’s line about watching your tongue when talking to Ulfric.

“Well, that didn’t work. Looks like your going to have to go into console commands and … oh yeah. You can’t access console commands. You’re actually in the game.”

“That’s impossible. There’s no way I’m actually inside of the game.”

I was still struggling to process that I was actually in Skyrim physically. How did this happen?

“You’re right Nerevar! This isn’t happening.”

Dagoth then clears his throat and starts impersonating Juib, which is basically Morrowind’s Male Dunmer voice.

“Wake up. Why are you shaking? Are you okay? Wake up.”

“Could you stop!? This whole situation is unreal. I’m trying to process it all. How does this happen? How does someone find themselves inside of a video game?”

“There’s an answer to that somewhere Nerevar. Unfortunately, we’ll probably never figure it out. Ironic isn’t it Nerevar. This is by far your most immersive playthrough yet and we’re doomed to be on the Helgen cart forever. Damn Skyrim jank!”

I looked over to see our progress on the road. I was surprised to see that the Helgen gate was pretty close and appeared to be getting closer.

“Hey, I don’t think we bugged the intro at all. I think we just bugged Ralof. Look! Helgen is getting closer.”

And it was getting closer. Eventually, we were inside of Helgen’s gate.

“Well I’ll be damned Nerevar! I’m so relieved. Being stuck on this cart in Bethesda’s shitty intro with a bunch of stinkin’ Nords is my own personal Hell. So, Ulfric’s twink is the mute bitch now.”

Dagoth turns to Ralof and starts talking to him like most people talk to their dogs.

“Who’s the lesser and inferior race? That’s right! You are! Speak if you’re a good Unga Bunga!”

Ralof said nothing. He never spoke again. He just stared out into the void.

“Hahahaha! I knew he was a bad Unga Bunga. Well Nerevar, it looks like Alduin is about to crash this Imperial and Thalmor party. Not that it’s much of a party between these two sourpusses.”

I didn’t have to look to know that General Tullius, the leader of the Imperial Army in Skyrim, and Elenwen, The Thalmor Ambassador to Skyrim, were present. I also knew that the townsfolk were gawking at us as we made our way through town to the fort. I’ve done so many Skyrim playthroughs, I practically know it’s intro by heart. Dagoth decided that he was going to get in a few more jabs at Ralof before we reach our destination.

“Yo Ralof, you remember that girl from Helgen that you were going sweet on? You know, the one who made the juniper berry mead. I’ve been piping her for months now. Every night I make her scream and moan like a banshee. She really enjoys my big D. She said I’m the best she’s ever had. Maybe sometime we’ll let you watch like the cuck you are.”

Dagoth starts signing to the tune of Afroman’s “Randy Walters is a Son of a Bitch”

“Ralof the Stormcloak is a son of a bitch ooooooooooooo. That’s why I fucked his girl and got filthy rich ooooooooooooo.”

While Dagoth was enjoying himself torturing Ralof, we finally arrived at our destination. We stopped in front of an execution block. An unnamed Imperial Captain and Hadvar were waiting for us.

“Get these prisoners off the cart now!”, demanded the Imperial Captain. We started stepping off the cart one by one. First Ulfric, then Dagoth. Ralof was next. I was the last occupant to step off the cart. Hadvar had a list and started reading off names.

“Ulfric Stormcloak. Jarl of Windhelm.”

Ulfric stepped forward.

“Ralof of Riverwood.”

Ralof stepped forward.

“Lokir of Rorikstead.”

Dagoth turned to me and said, “I’m bustin’ outta dis bitch Nerevar. Meet me in Riverwood. We’re going to get to the bottom of this. How it happened and how to fix it.”

Dagoth then made a mad dash for the exit. The Imperial Captain called out to Dagoth, “Halt!” But he kept running and started cackling. The Imperial Captain called for her archers.

“Run run as fast as you can! You’ll never catch me! I’m the Gingerbre…ugh!”

Dagoth was killed by the archers. This is a scripted death for the mod. Dagoth should be at the Sleeping Giant Inn in Riverwood when I escape.

“Anyone else feel like running?”

Hadvar looked at his list then at me.

“Wait. You there. Step forward.”

I did as Hadvar asked.

“Who are you?”

Normally, here is where the player creation menu pops up. However, since I’m actually in Skyrim, the menu didn’t pop up for me. Looks like I’m stuck as the default Male Nord. Dagoth is going to disappointed. I couldn’t think of any fancy Nord name to give to Hadvar, so I just gave him my real name.

“Chester Callaway.”

Hadvar turned to the Imperial Captain.

“He’s not on the list Captain. What should we do?”

“Forget the list!”

General Tullius stepped forward and gives his speech, condemning Ulfric for committing treason by leading a rebellion and murdering the High King with the Voice. Tullius’ speech was interrupted by a distant roar. Alduin was approaching fast. After Tullius was finished with his speech, a priestess of Arkay read us our last rites. I then stepped towards the execution block. I think most people would fear stepping towards their death. I’ll admit, my heart was racing despite knowing that an Ancient Dragon was about to show up and intervene before the executioner would have a chance to bring the axe down on my neck. And The World Eater did show up right on cue.

Dagoth was right about Alduin breathing fire on me being a wake up call. Alduin nearly burned me to a crisp and it hurt like hell. Luckily, I was healing slowly. Good to know that the health regeneration still worked. I had a choice to flee with Hadvar or Ralof. I choose Hadvar. I didn’t want my escape to be bugged. Ralof was still mute. Hadvar untied me and gave me a set of armor to equip. I didn’t have an inventory menu, so I had to put the armor on like in real life rather than going in to the inventory menu and equipping it. We made our way into the Helgen dungeon and fought through some Stormcloak soldiers. We then fled through a cave connected to the dungeon. A frostbite spider ambushed us but Hadvar and I managed to slay it. Then there was the sleeping bear. There was a bow near by that could be used to kill the bear. I grabbed the bow but didn’t use it on the bear. I’m not sure how leveling works with me being inside of the game. Regardless, I know all of my skills are low level since I just started. So I opted to sneak by the bear. I had no chance to one shot it. Alduin nearly killed me and that spider nearly poisoned me. I wasn’t about to face that bear. I had to move slowly since my sneak is also low level but Hadvar and I managed to get past the bear without awaking it. We managed to make it out of the cave, although, we had to wait for Alduin to fly away for good. I followed Hadvar to Riverwood to find Dagoth.