u/Flat_Elk_8824

(And Argentina after his war crimes back in ‘82)

Originals were too basic so I added more

Danjamin NoSkill, serial jorker and maid dress cosplayer, has escaped from police custody and invaded the Silverstone circuit during the 2026 British Grand Prix.

Since his high profile capture at the 2026 Barcelona GP a few weeks ago, Danjamin has been held at the Meadowhall Mental Asylum while awaiting trial. Newly unsealed court documents reveal that Mr. NoSkill was able to hypnotize the guards using his patented “Alonso Segment” and escape the facility.

Due to the large crowds Danjamin was able to enter the venue unnoticed, but security was immediately alerted to his presence when F1 rookie Fernando Alonso was out-qualified by teammate Lance Stroll. There is currently a restraining order in place that prevents Mr. NoSkill from coming near Alonso so that he is not affected by Danjamin’s magical curse of poor performance.

With security after him, Mr. NoSkill managed to evade capture and flee the track, but not before interrupting the P1 with Matt & Tommy live show as revenge for them rejecting his application to join the show. Audience members watched in horror as Mr. NoSkill proceeded to state that Ferrari had the best 2026 livery.

Interpol have announced a joint effort with the FBI to hunt down Mr. NoSkill and send him to the only place that can contain a creature like him: Azkaban Prison. In response to the announcement, 1982 Victoria Cross recipient Mr. John Pulse tweeted “might as well send Franco too”.