u/FlounderSea911

I have read some discussions around the tuna melt incident and different thoughts but I don’t think I have read something that really captures what I saw when I watched the episode so I want to share my thoughts. I hope it is OK.

Be aware that I watched the show completely unbiased. I knew that the show is about gay romance and hockey. At the time of watching I had not read the books, had not read any interviews with creator and actors so this was my take from the scene while I was watching it. 

I am aware it is not presented like that in the book but this is how I read it based on how it is acted and based on my understanding of the characters and their personalities. 

Characterization:

Ilya is an Extrovert. This means he gets energized by being around people (which is why we see him more often in clubs), he is in the moment, enjoys taking risks and living in the moment at the fullest. He is not about long term planning. He likes to improvise, he is playful. He is conditioned (due his upbringing and culture) to suppress his emotions and not show them. He finds it weakness to show and share his emotions (his comment about his mom is telling). Whenever a situation calls for his emotional vulnerability, he deflects by using humor or talk about sex or both. He bonds with people by small talk, surface topics (like hot women or flashy cars etc) and banter. 

Shane is an Introvert. He gets energized by being alone on himself (cottage is perfect example for that). He gets drained if he is too much around people (which is why he does not go out that much to clubs). Shane is also all about discipline, routine, hyper focus. His hyper focus is hockey and a lot of the things that happen in his life gets processed around hockey and are assessed through the lens of how impacts his hockey career. Shane does not like to take risks and is risk averse (Ilya puts him out of his comfort zone). For him everything is about efficiency and optimization. Every decision he makes is intentional. The only instances where he is not are with Rose and Ilya actually. Shane bonds with people by discussing deep topics - like his future plans for financial independence by buying real estate and renting it, talking about his career plans (asking about the Olympic Games), discussing his emotions (helps him understand them btw), explaining why he built the cottage the way he did (everything is intentional there and is serving purpose for him), talking about when hockey became intense for him. 

Statistically speaking there are 25 % Introverts and 75 % Extroverts. As majority are Extroverts, a lot of people think that being Extrovert is normal, being Introvert is weird. Extroverts do not understand Introverts well and do not know why they behave in a certain way. Because of this some of the things Shane does are attributed to his autism when it is not always the case. Some of them are due to his Introversion.

Also the miscommunication between Ilya and Shane does not happen just because Shane lacks social cues. It happens because they approach bonding with people differently. Ilya’s way of bonding can be seen very superficial from Introvert point of view and honestly boring. It is like we say a lot but nothing of substance. Shane’s way of bonding is seen a bit boring from Ilya’s point of view because lacks the playfulness and is way too serious (also from a lot of reactors that seemingly do not understand Shane’s Introversion). 

With that in mind here is how I see the situation and what I thought Shane thought during those exchanges. I do not quote fully what Ilya has said because I do not have the script with me but tried to summarize what he says.

Ilya words: Stay 

Shane thoughts: Wow that is new. Does it mean he has feelings for me?

Ilya words: I am not done with you 

Shane thoughts: Ah he is hornier than usual and wants repeat sex

Ilya words: Do you want a tuna melt?

Shane thoughts: He wants to cook for me. Does it mean he has feelings for me?

Ilya words: I was gonna make a tuna melt, I can make two.

Shane thoughts: He is just a good host. It would be rude to not cook me food. I would have done the same for my guests. 

Shane thoughts: This is awkward. If I ask about hockey we will have a topic to talk about

Shane words: Asks Ilya where he likes to play

Ilya words: Ilya answers cheekily and turns the topic around hot women and sex

Shane thoughts: Yep, Ilya does not like me. He just enjoys the sex

Ilya words: Talks about Svetlana and how he hooks up with her on the regular basis

Shane thoughts: Oh so he is hooking up with other people more than once just like with me. He is comfortable with such arrangements and can do it without catching feelings 

Ilya words: Svetlana likes you

Shane thoughts: What the hell does this mean? And why it matters? [I even wondered if Ilya wanted to ask Shane for threesome but I do not think Shane would think that]

Ilya words: I can find another woman to have sex but you know me I am lazy

Shane thoughts: I actually do not know what you do with women and how you approach them. I do not know that side of you at all so I am not sure what do you want to tell me here … 

Ilya words: Do you like girls?

Shane thoughts: Why is he asking me about this? Does he want me to date other people? 

Ilya words: I like you

Shane thoughts: Maybe he really likes me?

Ilya words: Not as a person. I like your mouth

Shane thoughts: Nope, he just likes having sex with me

When you see the exchanges this way, the exchange of first names and potential of actually having feelings hits harder for Shane. That is on top of what I think most people pick up which is he is not ready to admit to himself that he is gay.