Mothers Day
“Happy Mothers Day. I love you.”
Two simple sentences spoken from mother to daughter
I stare at them debating whether to respond
For years that relationship has not been there
In fact it doesn’t seem to ever have been
Always in your shadow being molded to your form
I suppose you hoped you could live the life you wanted through me
Whether you meant to or not you shaped me to who I am today-rebel
I became some of the worst parts of you- and rejected the loves we shared
If only you could have seen me as me and not the family glue
I wish I was not the object to split the family- if thats what we could be called
An outcast among the immediate- an emergence dividing you further
No response
I added a daughter of my own to a family tree without room for more branches
The tree split and we fell
Forced to sprout our own roots,
Healing slowly over time.
Knowing I was not ready to be a mother.
Forcing a self realization and reclaiming the buried parts of me.
Becoming a mother I didn’t have for a child who is in fact easy to love.
Every mothers day I am reminded of my purpose
And the love I have unconditionally for a daughter just like me.
Hoping that maybe one day I will text my own daughter
“Happy Mother’s Day. I love you.”
And if I did the work
My daughter will respond.