Why I HATED High school
I was useless to most people unless I played basketball or football. It took me so long to realize that the “friends” I had weren’t actually my friends, they just wanted me to entertain them. As soon as I couldn’t anymore, they constantly berate me, and soon after that, they pretend like they never met me. I used to play football but I had to retire early because of multiple brain surgeries I had in 7th-8th grade. I played basketball but I eventually quit because of constant trauma, rage, and pressure. Even people I didn’t even know would judge me for not player either of those sports and it would really piss me off.
I can’t count how many times I have been either betrayed by people I once considered friends or just hated by random people for no reason. I loved running track in those days, but my god I hated the people I did it with. I have been constantly harassed and threatened when I didn’t do anything to anyone. It was the worst. In my gym class, some knucklehead decided that I was his “rival” and would constantly talk shit either to my face or behind my back during the basketball unit. Now mind you, I HATED basketball as I’ve mentioned earlier so I wasn’t even trying. But I got so fed up with this kid’s antics that I actually didn’t let him score for the rest of the unit. After that, there was no apology, no “hey good game”, nothing. He just went on and acting like nothing happened and constantly begged for me to be on his team. Talk about pathetic. I always turned him down because I remember him saying something about how I was “a liability on both ends of the court”.
Almost every friend I have made wouldn’t even stick around for more than a year. It almost felt like checking out a book at the library. Once you’re done with it, then it’s time to return it and move on. I always hated that. I just wanted a stable friend group through those years but the most I could get was acquaintances. It just made me feel like there was something about me that was undesirable and because of that, I distanced myself from people because I knew that even if I tried to be social it wouldn’t work out anyway. So why bother?
P.S. this does have a happy ending, I eventually established a sustainable friend group in my senior year and even six years after graduating we’re still close to this day. And now I’m happier than I’ve ever been so everything worked out eventually.