u/Forsaken_Fox4955

As someone who's diagnosed with ADHD since I was a kid, I never believed that a person has a soulmate or hindi ko lang talaga pinag tutuunan ng pansin. My life is a mess and my mind is too loud until I found someone. Someone who can regulate my mind and emotions without medicines. I firmly believe that she is my soulmate, extra ordinary connection.

They say that soulmate can be platonic. But I think there is more to it. You will just feel it randomly. Sadly, we are both women. I ended it on my own terms yet I am the one suffering.

I am just giving myself some grace to have her back.

I hope we can figure it all out in this lifetime. I really don't wanna lose her.

Join me and my friend. 18 - 26

"You can never really unlove the one who let you experience real love for the first time in your life"

Mga atecco nabasa ko tong quote na to and it actually made me stop and think. Medyo deep thoughts muna tayo bago mag-take ng Ritalin mga ses.

Tayo yung nang-iwan, pero tayo yung araw-araw minumulto ngayon. 😭

Let's be real. Bilang may ADHD, sanay tayo sa mabilisang hyperfixation. Madalas (at ang toxic man pakinggan), we treat people as walking dopamine dispensers. Ibibigay natin yung 100% natin sa umpisa, tapos pag nakuha na yung thrill o na-bored na, poof—ubos na yung feelings. We rarely love someone truthfully kasi ang bilis natin ma-distract sa next shiny thing.

Pero... paano pag dumating yung time na na-experience mo na siya? Yung tipong naging tahimik yung maingay mong utak dahil sa kanya?

Kasi nung na-realize ko na totoo na 'to at hindi na siya passing hyperfixation lang, natakot ako.

Ganito rin ba kayo? Yung tipong na-paralyze sa vulnerability at intimacy, kaya imbes na mag-stay, the ADHD fight-or-flight kicked in? Mas pinili kong mag-self sabotage at mang-discard. Tinakbuhan ko yung kaisa-isang taong nagmahal sa'kin nang totoo out of nowhere, kasi my brain convinced me it was "safer" to leave first bago pa niya makita yung kalat ko at iwan niya ako. Ginamit ko pang excuse yung pagiging "overstimulated" para pagtakpan yung pagiging duwag ko.

You can never really unlove them. And f*ck, it's true. I thought discarding them would give me back my sense of control, pero ngayon araw-araw akong minumulto ng presensya niya. Every time my mind is understimulated, sakanya bumabalik yung utak ko.

Paano ba mag-move on sa "what ifs" na tayo rin naman yung sumira dahil sa sarili nating executive dysfunction? Ang hirap maging tanga na, may ADHD pa. Paki-lobotomy na lang po ako. Send advice or send Ritalin mga accla!

Aside sa mga multo ninyo hahahahaha. May bahay na ba kayong the one that got away? Okaya yung plinano niyo ng partner niyong mag solo living na naging bula nalang hahaha.