Last week I was assigned to an extroardinarily odd call. I'd've thought we were safe and quiet up in our small town, but I was wrong.
I was given these pieces of evidence from another officer, who's name I will not state, and they asked me to try and find some further leads to the case.
These pieces of evidence have been kept strictly off the books for now. I will have to turn them in at some point, but until I can find more evidence, I think I will go above protocol for now.
There were three things in particular that stumped me, the letter, the scene, and the affadavit written by an officer at the scene.
The letter was a bit confusing, as I'm not sure how it stayed so clean despite its placement, and how there wasn't more blood at the scene. The whole thing just seemed odd. I've tried resourcing to other investigators but they won't touch this case for whatever reason.
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It was raining the night I first said goodbye. You had gifted me a smile so gracious and loving. I hated it, to know you saw the good I could not. Even when I hurt you and we went on living, you still smiled.
I carry that resentment with me, and even as I plunged that knife into your chest, when last we said goodbye, you still smiled at me. You had cursed me with a smile so pitiful and loving. You saw the good that I could not. You knew then of what I really was, not what I chose to show you.
I still see your face in the windows of the streets. I still smell your perfume as I pass the storefronts. I still hear your laugh in the crowds of people. It's torture to imagine you there in those places, loving me despite my shortcomings.
*There was a future I saw in a dream, you and I around a table, a child, the warm sunlight bathing our kitchen. It was strange though, I could see you, feel you, smell you, but I couldn't see your face.*
My home office became my sanctuary. I managed to clear everything out, paint over the walls with a fresh coat of grey. I sealed the windows, no drafts, no sunlight. I wanted the room to be empty, just a single four panel door with a simple light fixture in the middle of the ceiling.
To any casual passerby, it was prison, but I found comfort in it. My first day within my office felt like an eternity, but when I left the room, it was only ten minutes. In that eternity I could avoid the things that reminded me of you, and yet the memory still haunts me.
*I like the color red. It's beautiful, passionate, ambitious. You know, women can see more shades of red than men can? Guess that makes me just a little bit better than you.*
You'll just try to find me. I deserve to be alone, I always have. Even before I met her I'd believed myself no worthier of a person's kinship. I'm a lost cause, there was nothing of worth in this world that I brought. To make something of myself was to inconvenience others and the noise of my own life brought irritation to those around.
I'm lonely, and I prefer it that way. But you didn't. I remember sitting across from you at the coffee shop, drinking on some cream concoction, citing the various works of romantic literature you found tasteful. It was enrapturing.
You had my attention and you refused to break it. I followed you around like a lost puppy. You fed me, nurtured me, trained me to put the toilet seat down after every flush. It was comfortable, cozy.
For once in my miserable life, I had felt like I had a purpose, a drive, a focus. I wanted to show you that there was more to me than you could ever hope for.
*Oh wow! Thank you for making dinner, I was really dreading doing that today. The place looks so clean too! You've really been busy today, what's gotten into you?*
God, I wish you would just get out of my head, let me forget what I did to you. I loved you, but now your gone and you should keep it that way, please leave me alone.
My cell slowly began consuming more of my time, minutes turned to hours, hours into days. I could feel my body eating away at itself. I refused to eat, trying to punish myself for every time I thought of you.
It's been getting more frequent now, the times I try to retreat. They never help, it never leads to anything good.
*I think I'll put this away in my safe keeping box, one day I may look through it again and reminisce with you.*
Fury ignited my muscles, why won't you just leave me alone?! I threw my fists into the air, the loose, stuffy gas sifting around me. There was nothing else to grab in this room. It was empty. I was naked, no phone, no furniture. I tore up the carpet, left with the cold concrete foundation below it.
The spot I laid in started to stain, oil from my skin dying the impenetrable rock a murky brown. Disgusting, I should shower, but not today, I didn't need to go outside. I had nowhere to be, nobody would want to see me anyway.
*If anything ever happens to me, just know that I will always love you.*
I awoke in my prison, the moist, hot air of the room suffocating my awakening. Before me lay your note to me. The last thing you left for me. The words I couldn't read, but knew in my heart I would find them.
You always had a way of singing to me, in words I knew only vaguely but expressed to me in magnitudes I could always understand. Perhaps that's why, when I was on deaths door, you stood above me, smiling, not with pity, not to grace me, but to show me you still loved me.
When the last morsel of my consciousness slipped away, you knelt beside me, stole away my pain, and took me in your arms.
*I will always love you*
**-**
**\* Per police investigative report, 137-829-B:** A ten by eight inch parcel of notebook paper scrawled in pencil with dark brown fingerprints of unknown origin. This was found during a murder/suicide on a couple located in North Vermont near the border of Canada. The note was folded length-wise several times and was stuffed within a complex puncture located in the suspect's right upper abdominal quadrant. It has been noted by some investigative linguists that the note can be read backwards as well.
**-**
**Affidavit 5/23/1987 - Session 4 - Officer R-G**
I was assigned to the investigation of the Coleson murders up north of town. The scene was mostly clean of evidence, barring a few notes scrawled along the walls. We initially found the body in the one of the basement bedrooms. The egress window had been covered from both the outside and inside. The concrete foundation was bare, from where we found the body.
When we found the body, it was in an advanced state of decay, but parts of it were missing. Namely, the left forearm, both feet, and liver were removed. At this point in the investigation, we are unsure as to the reason for this. No blood was found in other rooms of the house. No signs of forced entry.
The entry wound for the liver and the way in which the limbs were removed is consistent with autonomous amputation, that being that the owner of the limb removed it themselves. It is my suspicion that the liver and flesh of the limbs was consumed by the owner in a state of delirium.
Next to the body was a note from a purported love interest. Further investigation has created no leads as to persons of interest.