Curious what you guys think of a screenplay?
Have gotten rounds of feedback from r/screenwriting and The Black List. Moved on from this now but it was the first script I wrote in the horror/comedy vein I've since found I absolutely adore writing in.
THE ART OF ATTRACTION • 85 pages
Andy, a young man spiraling into the incel rabbit hole, takes a mysterious invite to a remote beauty spa known as The Looker. Once there, he finds himself on the run from its owners- a beauty-obsessed cult of deformed freaks wielding a substance capable of remolding human skin. Together with Jace, an anorexic fellow captive, Andy fights for his escape, his redemption, and maybe even a shred of self-confidence.
I was 19-20 when I wrote this, and it shows in a lot of ways. I was insecure, I was in a dying relationship, I was a stressed caregiver, I was just starting to broaden my horizons and escape my comfort zone.
I was particularly upset about how I looked, and tried to channel it into something weird & fun, that could serve as a cautionary tale against the manosphere & beauty culture alike.
Hope you enjoy, but I'd love to discuss the flaws as well. For my part, I think it structurally works but needed more room to breathe, the first act should signal the heightened tone more, and I am certainly better at writing women at 23 than I was at 19.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1VCpLapx6tQaAXpgWhtZh-DEMKq8l3AFF/view?usp=drivesdk