scared and alone
the longest 6 months of my life...
In Nov 2025, I was diagnosed with stage 4 endo and 2 endometriomas (L side 9.5cm × 6.3 x 6.7; R side 17cm x 14.3 x 9.6). I've finally met with the surgeon earlier this month, and my surgery date is this August. The plan is to at least remove the R ovary and tube (L is tbd...). As quickly as I want this to happen, im also feeling very isolated and scared.
I'm 29 y/o, no partner, and all my friends appear to be moving in and on with their SO's and having kids. I really didn't think that the idea of MAYBE not having kids would really affect me, but today I thought...how will I feel when I see my friends get pregnant? I tell myself its sheer jealousy and extremely wrong to feel that way about friends, but I cant help it. I am upset I may never get to experience that.
I dont have an endo support system, or anyone who really understands. No one to check on in me. Im sorry for ranting but I haven't felt this alone in so many years. I think the whole thing has made me depressed (I had suffered from depression many years ago as well).
If you took time to read this, I appreciate you. Hopefully, you are not feeling how I am right now. I wish you all love and support through this endo journey 🩷