u/Funny-Speaker-9100

Hi everyone! About 8-9 years ago I had the worst panic attack of my life, I was so scared that my brain at one moment told me to just kill myself. That made me even more scared and immediately I told a family member I cannot be alone. For context, my father committed s. a few years prior so you can imagine how that affected me even more. Since then I have a horrible fear of my panic attacks, I can get through the sensations and everything but my actual fear is that the panic will make me lose control over myself and make me do it even though I don’t want to. Anyone feel the same? Any words of comfort? Anyone snapped out of it?