u/Geeked_N_Tweaked

I talked to a senior on campus and he says it is as strict as it can get

Don't be scared, I ain't leaving this world lol. These are my final words in regards to me finally being done with cbse, Some words of self regret and maybe helpful advice

Despite passing my compartment exam by a good margin (40s) I cried, Not because of happiness but because of the realisation of how much time i have wasted as well as fallen behind compared to other kids who I grew up with.

I guess it hurts since I was the 'overachiever' when I was younger, Topper or top 3 in every test, Winner of almost every extra curricular competition, i fell from there to not being able to clear my exam in 12th as well as in my drop year, I could state the reasons as to why that happened but even my own heart isn't willing to accept it as anything other than an excuse, A way to cope from the fact that I failed something as simple as board exams 'twice'. I never thought I'd have this internal conflict of trying to convince myself that I am not just a loser who is not mentally fit enough to study science, The realisation of that hurts more than the discussion itself

I will be going to a college soo , I will be trying my best to recover from this....crack in my own confidence, however hard it may be

In a sense it's freeing, To finally realise that I wasn't something special like everyone around me claimed I was

I decided against writing any advice as I think there's a lot of useful info already available on the internet and me preaching more of it kinda portrays that i wasn't well informed before my failings, which i was

Ciao