u/GemPersephone

A little off topic as it’s not wedding but bachelorette trip opinions I’m looking for!

I got a great discount for my family’s beach house so it was no question thats where I’d have my bachelorette trip! However, the regional airport is now closed so we need to all fly into Tampa. Girls are arriving at different days and different times so I’m offering to pay for any rental cars they will need. I worry some of them are uncomfortable with me paying (since I’m the bride) but I figured it was worth it for me to have them there and ease the loss of having a closer airport.

Just wanted to get a feel, classy or gauche? For me paying for three rental cars is just part of my bridal budget the way I see it.

I’m a year out and freaking out, would love some ideas/advice! $75k-$100k budget, flexible but trying to find reasonable pricing for most vendors! We’re probably at $35-$40k with planner, venue, photographer, DJ, and o’devours/dinner catering booked. Sorry, long post, maybe it’s just more of a rant.

1. My FMIL is upset at what my fiancé wore to our engagement party. Apparently she had bought him a very preppy plaid sports coat but I asked him if he’d wear what we had already discussed as it looked better with my outfit and he did, cause he didn’t mind either way. But that really undermined her (he is 100% aware how inappropriate that is of her and has been dealing with it very well). She pointed out that he looked like a hipster! in what he wore instead of a nice southern lawyer. :/

But she’s offered to handle the night before the wedding and refuses to throw a Welcome Party, insists on just Rehearsal Dinner. Our wedding is semi-destination (1.5 hours away from hometown) and I cannot imagine not throwing a Welcome Party. (Money is not the issue for her or her family here, it’s just her refusal to comprehend what a Welcome Party is and why it is more appropriate that ALL guests be invited, they’re ALL from out of town). My mom and I are absolutely happy to host the Welcome Party, keep it simple with drinks and dinner/maybe even just food trucks - but I have absolutely no clue what FMiL’s timeline is for rehearsal dinner. It makes is hard to plan and know what to put down for invites and on our website.

2. Invitations. We’re a year out and I want to get StDs out ASAP. I have friends who do gig work (comics, in bands) and I want them to have plenty of time to plan their schedules. They do have an idea of when the wedding is, but still! Our venue town can book up for other events a year out easy. I just got the proof for the Save the Dates and it confirmed my worst fear: this local papier has no desire to work with me or understand me. Fine, I’ll admit, I am a little bit of a hipster still, I’m not your typical southern sorority girl. I’m “artsy“ and I don’t present very wealthy and damn proud of it. I went to this shop originally with my aunt, without an appointment, and got shown the Ritz. My aunt is, weirdly, very well known in the paper and invitation space in my city lololol. For STDs I went with just my mom and had an appointment- huge mistake. I met with someone new who didn’t even glance at what examples I had on my phone of what I liked. She showed me a binder of like 12 fonts from the first version of Microsoft word and that was that. I thought, whatever, she‘ll send over her description to the designer and they’ll put together something tangible I can tweak a little. Nope, they took her note word for word and created the most ”Photoshop is my passion” (terrible) StD I’ve ever seen.

So I need to start from scratch, maybe putting my StDs out two more months. Will it be terrible to be sending them out so late? should I just send a mass email out with my website so people can start planning (I made it myself :) I do actually know design and photoshop very well.) If you know any papiers with quick turn around/unique stylings I’d love to hear.

Overall, the theme is like I keep hitting walls because I’m a little * different * (so stupid, I know). I’m in the south and it feels like if I don’t pay for the traditions then I don’t get anything. Like I’m not goth! (My cousin actually is and had her first wedding at a graveyard, idk how she dealt now! It was beautiful.) My themes are literally art nouveau/old Hollywood, like nothing too out there. Has anyone else ever felt this way when dealing with family and/or the wedding industry?

Any ideas on keywords for finding the right make-up for you without having to do like a million trials? Not so much worried about budget, but I don't want to just be paying a few hundred dollars each week to see if a make-up artist understands the look I'm going for.

I'm not looking for "glam" which seems to be the only look I see in every bridal make-up look. I'm looking for something vintage/old Hollywood. Think thicker cat-eye eye liner, heavier blush, nothing too cookie-cutter. But even with a big budget everything I see (not just in make-up either) feels all the same! Any suggestions on how you found the perfect make-up artist/bespoke MUA lol?