Single mum considering to Aus with kid, but kid’s father disagrees, what are my options?
Throwaway.
Kia Ora r/legaladviceNZ whanau. Like many kiwis I’ve decided to pursue greener pasture across the ditch.
I (36F) have an 8 year old from a previous relationship. Me, the kid and his dad are all NZ citizens. I separated from the kid’s father when he was a baby and went through the family court system. I now have day-to-day care of the kid while maintaining a cordial relationship with his dad. The kid visits his dad every other weekend and we alternate Christmases.
The ex did not react well to my idea of moving to Aus with my kid. He said he didn’t want to be in a different country which is fair enough, he’s also repartnered so it might be difficult for him to move. However, I’m committed to maintain their relationship in anyway I can.
* If the ex decides to also move across the ditch, I’m open to settle in the same city to maintain their relationship. I’m in an extremely in-demand role and can find a job almost anywhere.
* I’m happy to pay to fly the kid back to NZ or wherever in Aus the ex lives every school holiday, Christmas and long weekend, it’ll be a financial hit but I’m willing to prioritise. I’m even willing to contribute to fly the ex to my city to spend time with the kid.
* I’m happy for the kid to video call his dad every day, something he doesn’t do currently, in order to maintain their relationship.
The ex had a history of controlling behaviour toward me which led to our separation and family court involvement in the first place. And I worry that his resistance may come from a place of control. What are my options if he refuses? Can I go to family court to be granted permission to migrate? At what age can the kid make his own decision to leave the country? Or am I stuffed, either leave the kid behind, or stuck in NZ til he’s old enough?
Thanks.