The mind body connection
I didn’t know where to post this, but thought someone here might relate.
From a void to clarify in a moment. Irony abounds or maybe it’s paranormally coincidental… I will quibble over the right word choice with myself long after this is written.
Fair warning this may be a bit esoteric.
I have been in this mental space of insatiable energy stuck in my body for weeks, seeking all kinds of stimulation, feeling heightened emotions related to everything at every moment, yet the world around me feels static and distant.
It’s strange how awareness and action can be like opposing magnetic forces. I’ve been trying to figure out how to regulate myself. So compromising with myself, knowing ii can’t do an hour of quiet time in only the presence of my thoughts, I land on, no social media, no interactive apps, maybe just listen to a podcast. I flip around and see RadioLab, usually interesting and press play.
It’s on the mysterious relationship between the mind/body connection (I’ll put a link below)… on the 30th anniversary of becoming a quadriplegic, when the relationship my mind and body dramatically changes or became broken or more complex… I’m not sure how to frame it.
I listened to them talk about phantom pains of amputees, and the dissociation or jet pilots can experience under extreme gforces where they experience what they referred to as ‘dreamless’, where your mind sort of loses connection to your body and tries to make sense of it.
It triggered me to weep heavily. It wasn’t sadness as much as a myriad of emotions, yes sadness, but also grief, frustration, anger, even joy and elation - pulled together, unable to be divided. Just big emotion.
I don’t know if I could describe the strangeness of trying to form a new relationship between my mind and body, in lieu of of what I had always known up to breaking my neck, what the majority of the popular experiences.
My brain wants to understand the logic behind things and I guess sometimes science just hasn’t caught up to the experiences we have, but that doesn’t make them less real. I think is helpful for me to recognize.