u/Glass-Routine-910

I’m 23 and was diagnosed with moderate OSA in August 2025, with an AHI around 25. I started CPAP and, on paper, the treatment looked great pretty quickly. My residual AHI was usually under 1, leaks were often basically zero, and everyone kept looking at the numbers and telling me the apnea was controlled.

The problem was that I was not actually sleeping well.

For months I was using a full-face mask that, in retrospect, was a terrible interface for me. Apria sent me 3 medium f20s, and at the time I thought the mask was one size fits all. I had no in person fitting. It compressed my nose, encouraged me to mouth-breathe, and I would wake up with extremely bad dry mouth. I was repeatedly drinking water during the night and waking over and over despite the machine reporting excellent therapy.

The really awful part is that I didn’t understand what was happening at first. In September and October I mostly just knew that I felt progressively worse despite supposedly successful CPAP. I don’t think I even recognized the dry mouth as an important clue until around November or December. I moved home from school around this time because I was so tired. I had an in lab sleep study which showed 30 mins rem 30 mins deep and 5 hours 43 mins of sleep. Apneas were controlled fully.

Over the following months I deteriorated pretty dramatically. I went from being a very high-functioning CS grad student/researcher to struggling with concentration, processing speed, reading, word retrieval and memory. I became overwhelmingly sleepy and exhausted. Eventually there were days where I felt almost delirious from fatigue—derealization, pacing, crying, feeling like my brain simply wasn’t working anymore.

I kept trying to explain that something about my sleep still seemed wrong, but the dominant interpretation from the people and doctors around me became anxiety/depression because the CPAP numbers looked good. That part of the story is extremely painful for me now. I felt like I was telling people that something physical was happening to me while I watched my ability to function disappear.

In May I switched to a much better interface—nasal pillows, with mouth leak controlled—and suddenly I could sleep much more continuously. My current CPAP data are excellent: roughly 10 hours of use, essentially no leak, and residual AHI around 1.

But I didn’t instantly turn back into myself.

Months later I still feel profoundly foggy, sluggish and tired. My thinking feels much slower than it used to. Reading takes more effort. I make stupid little language errors that I never used to make. I can still reason and understand things, but everything feels like it takes vastly more mental energy.

i had an MRI done, which returned normal, along with a neurological exam which also returned normal.

I am so so scared that my life is over. The doctors I’ve seen have diagnosed me with depression following a traumatic event, but I’m not sure I fully buy it. I’m scared that the sleep deprivation caused some irreversible brain damage that isnt fully visible on an MRI. I have no idea what to do anymore. I know this story sounds ridiculous, and honesfky I cannot believe this happened to me.

If anyone has any idea please let me know. I have thoughts of ending my life, and I’m getting help, but I have no idea whether I’m going to recover or be permanently disabled. I can’t believe a cpap ruined my life. I lost everything this year, my lab, my PhD path, everything.

Please help. fuck man

I’m 23 and was diagnosed with moderate OSA in August 2025, with an AHI around 25. I started CPAP and, on paper, the treatment looked great pretty quickly. My residual AHI was usually under 1, leaks were often basically zero, and everyone kept looking at the numbers and telling me the apnea was controlled.

The problem was that I was not actually sleeping well.

For months I was using a full-face mask that, in retrospect, was a terrible interface for me. Apria sent me 3 medium f20s, and at the time I thought the mask was one size fits all. I had no in person fitting. It compressed my nose, encouraged me to mouth-breathe, and I would wake up with extremely bad dry mouth. I was repeatedly drinking water during the night and waking over and over despite the machine reporting excellent therapy.

The really awful part is that I didn’t understand what was happening at first. In September and October I mostly just knew that I felt progressively worse despite supposedly successful CPAP. I don’t think I even recognized the dry mouth as an important clue until around November or December. I moved home from school around this time because I was so tired. I had an in lab sleep study which showed 30 mins rem 30 mins deep and 5 hours 43 mins of sleep. Apneas were controlled fully.

Over the following months I deteriorated pretty dramatically. I went from being a very high-functioning CS grad student/researcher to struggling with concentration, processing speed, reading, word retrieval and memory. I became overwhelmingly sleepy and exhausted. Eventually there were days where I felt almost delirious from fatigue—derealization, pacing, crying, feeling like my brain simply wasn’t working anymore.

I kept trying to explain that something about my sleep still seemed wrong, but the dominant interpretation from the people and doctors around me became anxiety/depression because the CPAP numbers looked good. That part of the story is extremely painful for me now. I felt like I was telling people that something physical was happening to me while I watched my ability to function disappear.

In May I switched to a much better interface—nasal pillows, with mouth leak controlled—and suddenly I could sleep much more continuously. My current CPAP data are excellent: roughly 10 hours of use, essentially no leak, and residual AHI around 1.

But I didn’t instantly turn back into myself.

Months later I still feel profoundly foggy, sluggish and tired. My thinking feels much slower than it used to. Reading takes more effort. I make stupid little language errors that I never used to make. I can still reason and understand things, but everything feels like it takes vastly more mental energy.

i had an MRI done, which returned normal, along with a neurological exam which also returned normal.

I am so so scared that my life is over. The doctors I’ve seen have diagnosed me with depression following a traumatic event, but I’m not sure I fully buy it. I’m scared that the sleep deprivation caused some irreversible brain damage that isnt fully visible on an MRI. I have no idea what to do anymore. I know this story sounds ridiculous, and honesfky I cannot believe this happened to me.

If anyone has any idea please let me know. I have thoughts of ending my life, and I’m getting help, but I have no idea whether I’m going to recover or be permanently disabled. I can’t believe a cpap ruined my life. I lost everything this year, my lab, my PhD path, everything.

Please help. fuck man