Divorce? Rejected after over 2 year together? Do I rehome?
I purchased a fully cycled 2 year old tank from my coworker in march of this year. It came with 2 black ocellaris clownfish who were paired and seemed to be doing fine together. I wanted to upgrade the size of their tank since they were essentially in a 10 gallon cube. I got them a 20 gallon long (still feels too small) and they were doing great I even thought they would spawn for the first time! But the “spawning” behavior i saw never actually lead to spawning and she has become increasingly more and more aggressive to him.
I see now I made a mistake of changing up their territory and screwed with their dynamic. I feel so horrible about this. I thought that her always making him submit to her was normal, but the frequency that it was happening was too much recently and I was feeling stressed out watching it happen but i just thought i was putting my own human emotions and anxieties onto the fish that were consenting to it.
Every time she came at him he shimmied and shook and I thought that meant that he was ok with it. But i see now that the reason he kept doing it so much is because she wouldn’t relent so he had to plead his case so often to show that he wasn’t a threat 😭
Yesterday was a tipping point where it seemed he almost died from her harassment. She was immediately removed and put into a bucket with a wave maker for the night. I feel so terrible and immediately jumped to wanting to rehome her. I called my lfs and they said they could take her but now im having cold feet in splitting them up.
Should i do the isolation box and just change the rocks or has she shown that she rejects him so much that that doesn’t matter anymore. I let them say goodbye to each other (through plastic cup) as i plan to take her to the fish store today but he was seemingly nuzzling the cup she was in and i feel so terrible. What if he is still bonded to her. I don’t know what to do.
I read at this point she will most likely murder him if its a true rejection . I really don’t want that to happen. I don’t know if its smart to try to keep them together by trying to reintroduce them or to just cut it off.
Please be kind in your responses 😔