Hello me and my fiancee just recently got engaged, but he is not a legal yet, he is in a process but it’s going very slow and things are uncertain since he doesn’t have a sponsor, I always overthink if he is using me for papers even though he treats me really well and everybody disagrees that he could use me for them. I heard advice on how to know if a partner could use you for papers and decided to try it out. I told my fiancee that I wanted to delay getting married and he was not too happy about it, he said that he wants to live with me and stop being so restricted by my family (my family is religious and doesn’t allow us to touch or hangout alone at his house) and he felt anxious because he thought I’m doubting our relationship. His reaction worried me if he was rushing marriage for papers or if he was genuine so, I came up with an idea and told him that we can get religiously married but not legally until I’m ready to be married. He then got extremely happy and agreed to it, he said that he just wants us to be able to live together even if he has to work all day to provide. Should I still be worried if he is using me even if he is agreeing about delaying getting married legally until I’m ready? Btw I love my partner a lot but my family did not agree to him due to him being illegal and not being able to make much money at the moment, and in my culture you stay married your whole life and it would be embarrassing to get used for papers after me and him fought so much to be together. So I might be overthinking but want to hear advice from others.
u/GlitteringKitchen164
Me and my now fiancee have been together for 4 months. We are in a healthy relationship but he doesn’t have papers yet. He is in a process and sold his car to pay for a lawyer but because of trump things have been slow nothing is guaranteed and it might take a while for him to get his papers. Even though I trust him and he comes from a good family who are extremely respectful and like me a lot, I can’t help but be scared if he is using me for papers. He “converted” so he could marry me, I’m not muslim but my family is and they don’t know I’m not. So he converted so he can get engaged then later married to me. His family respected our culture and did it the muslim way, he is extremely involved with my friends and they all love him even my friend’s mom. He works extremely hard for what little he has. He wants to try and get married in the next three months so he can get his permit faster and find a better job and to save up for our wedding next year so that his grandma who lives in a different country can attend it before she dies because she is really old. He has been very honest about papers but says it’s not the reason why he wants to get married. Also one of his close friends already agreed to give him papers by faking a marriage but he wants to be with me so ofc he’s not gonna do that. Could he still end up using me for papers?