Am I the asshole for bringing up a something that shocked me at the table?
So I’ve been a forever DM for years, got my players into a Dark Fantasy Mystery style part of my homebrew world. I got a call from one of my players after a session a week ago. He said he’s refusing to call a character I introduced by the proper name. Naturally I go with it, say alright but ask him why, and get an evasive answer. Anyway, we talk character lore for a bit before I mention the character he refuses to use the proper name of their spouse, who is of the same gender. I ask him why again and he says ‘oh I don’t agree with that’ I think I hear him wrong so I ask him to elaborate and he says, direct quote, ‘call me homophobic but I think same sex love is wrong because of my faith, and my character would think so too.’ I’m baffled, I’ve known this guy for years and never caught a hint. I brush past it and end the call. Fast-forward to next session, his wizard starts to try and frame them for making each other angry, building a fight in the couple over something his character set up, thus disrupting their relationship. At this I call him out to the explain all of this is which I hear is ‘what his character would do’. I say that I’d rather him not disrupt a pair of NPCs for no reasons which he raises his voice at me about. I de-escalate the situation, giving him a warning about it at the table. A few of the others players, who like me are members of queer communities start talking to him about it and we pause the session. It turns to a full confession that literally the only reason he was doing this in character was because of the NPCs sexualities. I got uncomfortable at the table and ended the session early, not knowing how to proceed with the group that I’ve played with for years. Am I the asshole?
EDIT: Don’t want a comment to be lost in the storm so I’m adding it to the post body. My table has decided to be done with this campaign, and the current table for a while. I’m not confident people will want to come back with me involved so the issue is resolved. The Wizard Player has reached out to contact me about putting a new table together with me and I flat out declined and blocked him. Thank you all for support and advice and even the ones telling me I’m the asshole, I needed to hear it