Are there any genuinely happy couples?
Do genuinely happy couples actually exist, or am I chasing something unrealistic?
Lately I’ve been wondering if I’m being a bit naive about relationships, or if I’ve just had a particularly grim view of them from what I see around me.
When I look at the couples around me, there seem to be very few where I think, “Those two really love each other and actually enjoy being together.” Maybe they’re out there and just don’t show it, but the amount of disappointment I hear from people is fairly mad.
Cheating, porn, lack of intimacy or connection, drinking, lies, resentment, one person carrying all the responsibility, people getting sick of each other, taking each other for granted… and eventually just treating each other like shite.
And I’m not talking about the occasional rough patch either. Obviously every relationship has its ups and downs. I mean couples who seem to have genuinely lost any sense of affection, curiosity or respect for each other, but stay together because of kids, mortgages, finances, fear of starting over, or just because it’s easier.
It makes me wonder whether a happy, healthy long-term relationship is actually common, or whether I’m chasing something that sounds lovely in theory but is pretty unsustainable in real life.
Maybe I’m just looking at the wrong examples, though.
For those of you who have been together for years — are you actually happy with your partner? Do you still love and fancy each other? Do you enjoy each other’s company? And if so, what do you think makes it work?
Would be genuinely interested in hearing some positive stories as well as the usual relationship horror stories. Maybe I need to hear that not everyone is at each other’s throats behind closed doors.
Coming from someone who is in the marriage for 19 years and losing the grip.