I’m really starting to scare myself
A little over a month ago, I dealt with what was deemed to be severe anxiety causing dizziness. After going to a doctor three different times within two weeks, I was prescribed Pristiq. Upon taking it the first night, I went about my night and spent it playing video games until around 3am when I finally decided to get some sleep, but something strange happened…I open my eyes to notice that nearly 2 hours have passed and I hadn’t slept, along with suddenly feeling nauseous. I instantly suspected the nausea was brought on by the Pristiq as that’s what I was mostly warned about. After a while, I decided to call it quits and tough out the day without sleeping and get back to a regular routine the next night.
I’ve had issues with sleeping in the past, but only when it would be the night before something really important…it led to days where I would go over 30 hours without any sleep, and would occasionally start to panic when I would still struggle afterwards…but it would usually get resolved shortly afterwards.
With that aside..I took my medication again the next night, the same thing happened. And then the same thing happened the third night…that time I finally looked into it. Where I saw one of the common side effects of the medication was insomnia along with dizziness and nausea. Although feeling a sense of relief at first, my anxiety had already done its job. I was still struggling immensely with sleep. It got to a point where I associated getting ready for bed as something to be nervous about. Every time I lay down, my heart starts racing, my minds going erratic, and I have an intense overwhelming feeling that I won’t be able to sleep through the night..and that maybe my body forgot how to sleep at all.
That was the beginning of this month, and I’m still struggling. The only sleep I’ve been getting is kinda hard to explain…I can vividly recall having dreams, but when waking up (like every 1-2 hours), I feel like I was still conscious throughout the night. I haven’t had any severe sleep deprivation symptoms…but then I worry myself even more into thinking that my lack of sleep has made me slip into psychosis or a manic episode..or something that many wouldn’t think to be rational. All I think about everyday at all times is “it’s gonna happen again tonight”. Another thing that I should probably add, I’m 18M…and have been feeling kind of pathetic as ever since this started happening I’ve been sleeping with my parents to feel a sense of comfort…as dealing with this in my own time makes me feel completely isolated from the world.
A few years ago I stumbled upon FFI & SFI (Fatal Familia/Sporadic Fatal Insomnia), and although not thinking too much of it initially…the thought of possibly having it has been eating me alive. My family has given me all the reassurances in the world, but I still feel like it’s impending doom.
I’ve tried many sleep remedies in the past, but my stress always acts as a shield towards all of it. I’ve been prescribed the lowest dose of vistaril and clonidine to hopefully get relaxed, I can’t say it’s helped much. The reason I’m writing this is cause i’m hoping that maybe someone out there knows what this feels like, and that there is still hope for putting this worry behind me. All I wish is for this viscous cycle to end.