I get it now.
For context, I’m still in the church but man there are times where I cannot stand the people. I’m usually pretty considerate but lately I don’t feel the pull to even go to service from how people act towards me. The group chats, the snarky people, and the orthobros. Especially as a woman, the woman groups are extremely toxic. I’ve tried doing things to help at church, get met with just horrid snarky behavior and attitudes. Sometimes I react, and I know there are people there with pure intention but I just automatically categorize them. My boyfriend is Orthodox but we consider ourselves “liberal orthodox.” He has even seen some of the behaviors first hand that I’ve dealt with and he even said that I had every right to feel the way I did. He’s like the only normal orthodox person I know besides the random cradle orthodox members in my family (funny how the cradles are literally the most chill people I have met. The converts are WILD).
I love the church for what it has done for me. However, it’s extremely isolating, it’s far away from everything, and I don’t feel any sense of community from the nasty a** people I have interacted with. I work and in college, I rarely can be at church as it is then when people see me they pull the “where have you been card.” LIKE SORRY SOME OF US ARENT TRAD WIVES AND ONLY GO TO CHURCH. I WORK 60 HOURS A WEEK AND I WILL CONTINUE THAT.”
Why is it that some of the hard working woman get completely shit on too? God that’s my biggest annoyance. The Greeks are way more lax and the woman are educated over there. Going to the traditional convert-heavy churches is the weirdest experience ever. I’m not a trad wife, I never will be, I don’t ever want to play into that and the most kids I want is maybe two. Nothing more. Yes I use birth control too. I don’t need 8 kids climbing all around and frankly my trauma wouldn’t let me. However in this economy you’re letting men that make $15 an hour talk out of their a** about how they want a trad wife? b*tch, you couldn’t afford one. You work minimum wage in 2026, maybe just be lucky if a girl wants to chat with you. Funny enough, I never dated in the Orthodox Church because of how toxic the men were. I would heard them say “single moms were demonic” and just ramble about orthodobro sh*t. My boyfriend was someone I completely met in the wild. He doesn’t rush marriage, understands my liberal views and appreciates them. I know with any other orthodox man, I would just stay single for life and I fully accepted that.
I’m also divorced. I find it so odd that they rush marriage at the church, at least the one I used to attend. It’s a sacrament but you want people to be married after being together less than six months? That’s totally not dangerous. Just because they’re orthodox doesn’t mean they’re protected from bad men/woman.
Circling back, the attitude from these woman. I know woman are nasty everywhere but I deal with it first hand especially on text. TEXT. I don’t understand what I did half the time to deserve it. I’m just trying to do nice things for people and completely met with nasty behavior and petty attitudes. I just want to love God and don’t even feel that I can do that.
The young adult groups. It’s all the cliques that have already formed.
It’s so hard because I love the service itself and the comfort the church has brought me.
It’s the people there that make me want to rip my head off. I would 100% support my child if they were LGBTQ, I would drive my kid to a mosque if they wanted to explore other religions and sit with them, I’m vaccinating my children, public school, I would tell them to get an education BEFORE marriage, and most importantly love others as Christ would. It makes me so sad seeing the nasty behaviors I have seen and heard. I would never join the Pro-Life rallies they host or the protesting at the LGBTQ parades. I’m sorry I just straight up would not go. I grew up with a single mom and just knowing her story, I could never sit there and scream from that soap box. A true Christian nation would offer affordable healthcare, affordable childcare, it wouldn’t be ran by Trump and his Epstein friends and there wouldn’t be parties. It’s so funny how they emphasize how we shouldn’t talk politics but the amount of men politically motivated to join the church is f*cking baffling. A couple years ago my sister celebrated her birthday at a LGBTQ club and a beautiful drag queen saw my cross, grabbed it in a kind way and was shocked that I was there and not being hateful. We had a full conversation about the hate they endured and I just wanted to give them a big hug. Not all of use are hateful. I want to spread love. THE FACT THAT SOMEONE WAS SO SADDENED TO SEE MY CROSS BECAUSE OF THE NASTY BEHAVIORS THESE PEOPLE HAVE CONTRIBUTED TO IS SO SADDENING. NOT OKAY. Anyways I’m a normal Orthodox person and this is my crash out. I’m tired. Anyone else here in the same boat? Not fully out but not fully in?