Spoiler Warning: I will address mild spoilers for this book (The Secret of Secrets), reference The Da Vinci Code but don't think I spoiled anything. I also mention The Expanse novels and other things I have read recently in comparison to Brown's book. I do spoil one of the Expanse novellas by oversimplifying a summary for it. I also mention a few other books, but I don't really go into any details beyond allusion.
I just finished Dan Brown's The Secret of Secrets and need to vent. I never considered him a fantastic writer, but I did enjoy reading most of the Robert Langdon books. At least part of each book was solid if you accepted them for what they were and what kind of writer/storyteller Dan Brown is. It's like watching a horror movie. You're not expecting a masterpiece. You're expecting a slasher, to jump, and to go home. But man. This book felt...painful. It was slow. Langdon's symbol knowledge felt pointless. >!Starbucks. Exit stairs. The A in the Prague card was the only one that felt clever.!< The main character was pointless. The story happened without him. The exposition over explained facts, which felt awesome and interesting in Da Vinci Code, felt like Yelp quotes. I struggled to finish this book. I only did because I hate leaving things incomplete after I've read more than a few chapters.
Now, to be fair to Dan Brown I'm currently reading through all of The Expanse novels and novellas. So, I have a current "standard" in my mind as I read through this...thriller. No spoilers for those please. I'm not ready to discuss the whole series. But these books feel intellectual and purposeful. I'm almost halfway through the entirety of it, and I am genuinely hooked and having a great time. I've read everything (publication order) up to The Churn (novella). Out of all of those, only Gods of Risk felt like it was a bad story. I don't think it was poorly written, but it was not something I was personally interested in. >!It was a low stakes story about content I don't get excited about. The rest were very engaging. Gods of Risk was like...YA Breaking Bad. On Mars for some reason. Oh yeah, and the Mars Marine Bobbie Draper is there. I do like Bobbie, so I was hopeful.!<
In comparison, this Secret of Secrets book was an absolute chore. Don't get me wrong, there were a few chapters that were page turners. >!The split personality twist wasn't one I predicted. He got me to think it was indeed the Dimitri guy that supposedly died but then we thought didn't.!< But like...Langdon used to be a somewhat “cool” different kind of protagonist because his old adventures were history and religion stuff that felt learned and earned. I get it, he’s a Gary Stu with a Ph.D., but he felt less impactful than Indiana Jones in Raiders of the Lost Ark. The characters in general just kind of frustrated me. >!I also hated that Brown literally had someone use ChatGPT in an attempt to solve a serious conflict, and then it came up again as a “well I could have solved this thing if I wanted it with my good ol’ GPT pall in my pocket.”!< It also made Prague feel like a cartoon city. The book also FELT like it's knocking on some Scientology wannabe science, which no matter how valid or true all of >!the nonlocal consciousness!< ends up being, it reads like Brown audited a philosophy class and wrote it at some Starbucks in Prague because his hotel comped him a week for some PR. In fact, even if all of the >!nonlocal consciousness!< stuff was 100% true, this book managed to make me LESS interested in it. I'm literally not interested in researching anything about the "smart" stuff in this book, whereas in his other texts I was at least mildly interested in fact-checking some of the history. This time it just turned into "If you say so, Dan," and I turned the page. He shot the information in the foot by burying it in a steaming pile of excr...exposition.
For the record, I don't think all exposition dumps are terrible. I really liked Andy Weir's The Martian and Project Hail Mary; in fact, I can happily reread those. Science dump and a half the both of them, and I am not a very scientifically minded person. Exposition and flat characters that serve as functions. But damn...those are at least interesting and exciting page turns. Kind of like Da Vinci Code was. Or as I remember it. That was like 20 years ago. I know that Dan Brown likes exposition, but his timing was just way off in this one. It was literally tacked in during intense scenes. Repeatedly. It was the literary technique. "Then Robert Langdon ran away from the bad people who he couldn't identify, and as he was winded walking across this famous street, he regretted that he couldn't pause and admire the history of the brick three to the left of the boot of the statue donated by the Pope's friend's best friend’s roommate. Then he made it to the place he was going, and he saw the most inspiring symbol of all time: a green square with a white phone in the center, telling him that he was receiving a phone call."
Thanks for attending my Book Rant.