Hey guys,
I have a gazillion dollars (yes, actual gazillion, not that middle-class 2-3 crore nonsense you peasants keep posting). I would like to rub it in your poor faces for a bit.
Even though I am now a certified gazillionaire, I am far too cheap (and apparently too stupid) to hire a fiduciary, a proper tax consultant, a CA, a wealth manager, or even the guy who sells chai at the airport. Why would I pay someone qualified when I can just dump my entire financial life in front of you random Redditors and watch you seethe while giving me premium advice for free?
So here’s the vulgar display:
- Fat 7-figure USD brokerage account (mostly index funds and some meme stocks I bought high)
- Another fat pile in 401k/IRA that I have zero idea how to repatriate without getting destroyed
- A 2 million dollar home for our servants.
- Rental properties in the US that I can’t be bothered to manage
- Random crypto I bought “for fun”
- And yes, I also have that shiny new German car I’m planning to ship to India just to flex on my cousins
I am really, really smart when it comes to earning all this money, but the moment it’s time to actually manage it before I land in India, my brain turns into idli batter.
So please, fellow returners (and jealous lurkers), help this stupid rich idiot out. Tell me if this is enough to move to India?
I can save on fees and still feel superior with your helpful comments.
TIA, your favorite humble-brag gazillionaire 💰😂
(Mods, this is obviously satire, please don’t ban me)