u/Gundi_383

As the title says, I get kinda bummed out sometimes because I’m almost 30, and as of yet, I’m still single and not at all where I thought I’d be at by now ten years ago. The longest relationship I’ve ever had (was two years ago) was only a month long, and it was for the complete wrong reasons on behalf of my idiocy. Almost all of my contemporaries (HS and college friends, cousins, colleagues, and even my younger brother) are at least in long term relationships, if not already married and/or expecting kids, and it seems like I’m the last one amongst them that’s single.

It’s not very easy for me to meet women either. Dating apps have been completely useless (I get maybe one match every few months despite weekly use, and I usually get ghosted), and I’m pretty introverted, so even when I go out by myself, I don’t have that level of charisma where I can just instantly befriend everyone I meet (nor do I usually want to). In terms of physique, I’m at best a 5-6 (skinny dad bod, resting bitch face, thinning hair, currently trying to get in better shape via gym and nutrition), so usually, if I’m around any other guys who are even slightly more physically attractive when I’m out in about, women don’t even notice me.

From the very few instances I did manage to land myself a date in the last year, I ran into two different problems (and of course, got turned down for date #2):
- When I met women who were around my age or a bit older, they usually were looking for a man who’s more established: a house, well paying job, a dog/cat, etc. This is completely valid, since these gals often too had kids already / were ready to have kids, but in my case is a moot point bc I am still in a point in my life where I’m constantly traveling for military orders (USAF/ANG) and staying in small apartments, and while I do have a cool Tacoma, I dont make a lot of money and thats far from a “man with a lot of money and a house”.
- When I meet younger women (early 20s), what works against me is that they aren’t looking for anything serious at that point in their life (they just want a fwb - I’m past that point in my life at my age) and they want a guy that looks like Timothee Chalemet (fair enough, he’s a handsome fella…I’m not).

The worst is whenever I’m at family gatherings, and all I ever get asked by my mom, aunts, and others is “when are you gonna find a woman and have kids?” To the point I almost don’t even like going to them anymore bc I dont know how to explain to them that I probably won’t because the odds aren’t in my favor.

Lastly, as I mentioned earlier, I’m in the military - and while that does have some benefits when it comes to healthcare, life insurance, and other programs, it’s also a huge 🚩for a lot of women because that means I’m gone a lot for uncle sam’s dirty work, and from experience witnessing what happened with the relationships of many of my comrades, long distance tends to destroy relationships more often than not (and unfortunately infidelity is rampant amongst their S/Os back home and the service members deployed alike - another 🚩)

In summary, when it comes to the world of dating, I feel like I’m screwed.