MAID = Legal sanctioned suicide through services offered by the Canadian Government.
I am very tired, I cannot do this anymore.
I am living at my parents place, and I feel like I am living in a prison since I cannot afford to move anywhere after I had to move out of my other apartment because the rent was too much to afford. We are out in the country so there is nothing to do. I have no car. After all my bills are paid, I have only $100 for the whole month. The government lied to us saying "We will make sure this programme for disabled people would get them out of poverty, with the liveable wage we will provide them". I was watching the Federal Government on TV talk about providing "liveable wages with what we will provide them" and that "Liveable wage" payment ended up being $200 a month rather than the $1600 a month they said they will provide us.
This crushed me and I've never cried so hard watching TV. I am only receiving $900 CAD for the month with social assistance, and $600 of that is money is to be spent on rent. Where the hell am I supposed to find a place for FUCKING $600 a month. I am fucking rattled and so upset and crying while I type this.
The one thing I love to do is to play games, but the internet is so bad here, that I cannot even play the games I enjoy because of this internet. I am able to get starlink but I cannot afford it.
I am looking into MAID and will be trying to set up an appointment with a doctor to move through with it. I am not even going to tell my parents because they will try and stop what id be doing, but even if they were to stop it and I stop the whole thing, what is going to change for me?
NOTHING.
I am totally disabled since I was 7, and now I am 32. I've been looking for remote jobs but even that would be hard since with all the surgeries ive had, removing most of my bowels , its hard to sit straight in a chair for long periods of time but I would like to try it. My days have been laying down in my bed all day doing nothing, what kind of a life is this?
I have nothing to live for and I am a burden.... And I am tired....