Need perspective
I feel my husband is controlling his family (me n my sons) through islam. He has recently rediscovered Islam and has embraced it with all his heart and soul. He keeps quoting hadeeth as per his convenience.
He is not a social person and has a lot of insecurities and doesn't get along with people very much. He has slowly distanced himself by not attending social gatherings etc but never stopped me. In our circle, since familes are busy they usually meet for weekend dinners which sometimes spill into the midnight hrs doesn't attend and gets upset when i come late. He has now started sending new hadeeth saying being out after dark isn't advised. I'm not being out roaming around in at our friends home with the ladies and only reason it got late is their stove malfunctioned and we obliged to stay longer for dinner. I couldn't leave abtuptly like cinderella just coz he's at home and it's getting late as per his timing. It's becoming very annoying. I cannot argue with him nor can' i talk up to him he's very adamant and somehow turn the fault at me and make me ask him for forgiveness for my behaviour.
His fmly jamaath are so long and when i told him about our propget saw used to shorten his prayers when leading jamath considering others who are old or busy etc he says how do you know how short? 5 mins? 2 mins? How do you know we weren't there how short to make it so? Etc. I have attention deficit i cannot hold a long prayer i do pray slowly but i holds my attention in it but in his jamath it's very hard for me. My kids also faced the same problem and i told him about it. He did say there is no compulsion in Islam you can pray by yourselves but he never let me forget it that we all used to pray jamath together n suddenely it's lost n made me feel guilty enough till i gave in and asked him for forgiveness that i listened to shaythan whispers. Im so distraught.
Is become very difficult for me, if i do something which doesn't align with his principles then it's a big problem for me.
I feel like cutting all ties with my social circle and just be by myself which I know isn't healthy for me. But looks like that's what is the solution, it's saddening me. Praying to Allah to make it easy for me and guide me.