In the past few years, a dramatic transformation took place in my life; in both my body and my mind. I have posted a few times a year the past two years and have watched all of you with prayer, sympathy, and joy-every single day. I am never quite sure where to start telling my story, but I know those who are new sometimes need to hear and see someone at the maintenance phase of their journey; I know I certainly did, in order to turn that cautious and fearful hope to blossom into something like belief. I needed your stories to propel me into action when I was so very terrified to try and fail once again.
When puberty hit, I became a chubby teen and then a very overweight one…then an obese one. I was hard-working, had unbelievable discipline when it came to school, the arts, and things I was passionate about. My weight was something that I could never seem to control. At 18 years old, my cycle of dieting began. I lost 60 pounds for the first time. By the time I was 21, I gained it back plus an additional 30. In my 20s came Atkins and I dropped to 168, only to gain it back. Then came Weight Watchers, another 80 pounds down to 168, then came Jenny Craig, then Weight Watchers again, then Noom. I lost 60-100 pounds five different times by the time I was in my 40s, and honestly, I was done hoping for anything to work long term.
As I started a while ago, there were less success stories out there… I was convinced that I could only lose as much as people had in the studies. I was so afraid that it would stop working at any moment… I told myself that no matter what I reached, I would be healthier. I set no goals, and tried to keep my expectations to a minimum. I wish I could go back and tell myself to hang onto the hope, and to believe that something could be different this time. I wish I could go back and tell myself that I would not start regaining once hunger returned, and that I would be able to maintain the loss. After six months on maintenance that cautious hope has bloomed into something more real; I think the hope and belief is now firmly rooted in my heart, and in my way of being. I don’t post often anymore, but I watch you all start, celebrate your victories, and as I’m praying person, I pray for you all to be able to increase your health, wellness, and joy in everyday life. If you are not praying person, know that there are people out there sending you all the positive vibes they can. If you are starting today, this week, or even this month… hold onto the hope! ❤️